


remember to smile

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (no one is straight tbh), Alternate Universe - Human, Background Malec, Cliche, F/F, Fluff, Gay Jace Wayland, Happy Ending, High School AU, Light Angst, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Slow Burn, background clizzy, plot without actual plot, simon has abandonment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-25 23:55:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 34,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Simon's love for Jace felt like stardust in his veins, sometimes it made it hard to breathe but most of the time it filled Simon with light and happiness, "I love you, Jace Wayland-Lightwood-whatever.""Don't call me that, you asshole."(OR simon is a nerdy idiot in love, jace is an idiot who might love him back and raphael is just an idiot.)





	1. before.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, angels.  
> before you read: english is NOT my first language and this is my first fic written in english. the first chapter was beta'd by bisexualbacon96 on tumblr, thank you for that! but any mistakes are mine.  
> my knowledge about american high school system and football comes mainly from the books or movies so it might not be 100% accurate, i apologize. this is my first fic for this fandom and even tho it's not really canon compliant i've tried to keep jace and simon in character but they're really hard to write so... i hope i didn't fuck up. it's just really sappy and those are like short scenes from their life. also i needed some saphael friendship so yeah. its unnecessary long.
> 
> feel free to hit me up with asks or prompts on my tumblr [ here ! ](http://malfoyst.tumblr.com/)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happened before Jace had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is way too long for something without an actual plot, i'm sorry.  
> i know simon's dad is canonically dead but i've changed it for the sake of the plot. also they're all the same age (alec and izzy are twins) because i wanted them to be at school at the same time so i could fit them in this story.

Simon Lewis was the most ordinary person you'd ever meet with his thick rimmed, black glasses, t-shirts with superheroes from comic books or his constant movie and tv show references nobody ever understood. Simon was your typical nerd and the fact that he once played Assassin's Creed for fourteen hours without breaks just to complete the game doesn't speak in his favor (and to be honest, his mom wasn't too delighted either). Simon was a good student, nobody really knew his name at school because no one put the effort in remembering it (he was known as "the activist" because of his little rant about LGBT+ rights he did in the cafeteria once, though). He had one of those faces that was easily forgotten, but Simon didn't mind it much because he had two things that mattered to him the most.

The first thing, or rather a person, was his best friend, Clary Fray. They met even before they learned how to speak because their moms were good friends. Clary was a redheaded artist, just like her mom, and for the most part of Simon's life he was convinced she was the love of his life. It was always only him and Clary and even though she had this amazing personality and could easily make better friends, she had never abandoned him. Honestly, she was the only constant thing in his life where almost everyone always left him, starting with his dad and ending with his cat that ran away two years ago. Simon followed Clary around like a lovesick puppy until she told him she was in love with Isabelle Lightwood, head of the cheer-leading squad. From that moment onwards, he just followed Clary like a puppy, not so in love anymore because he was genuinely happy for his friend especially when Izzy asked Clary to go to the winter prom with her (Simon had to answer for her because Clary lost her brain-to-mouth filter which would be understandable for anyone whose ever seen Isabelle; every single princess could get lost). But the point is, as long as Simon had Clary nothing could hurt him. No one had to remember him because he was sure that Clary wouldn’t forget about him and that was enough.

The second thing was his old Polaroid camera which he bought at a house sale three years ago and which he carried around with him ever since then. Whenever anyone saw Simon in the hallway, the camera always hung around his neck, bouncing to the rhythm of his footsteps. Simon loved all kinds of photography, but he liked to think that Polaroids were made specifically to capture the fleeting moments. Maybe it did sound stupid but when he saw a blurry photo of a laughing Clary, Simon went back to the exact moment the picture was taken. Polaroids were really important to him, he was just sentimental like that.

That's why he wasn't exactly thrilled to find out that the school's newspaper wouldn't accept scans of his Polaroids. They wanted digital pictures and they gave Simon, as their new photographer, the school's camera. It was really good and the shots were outstanding, especially when he played a little with the saturation, but it just wasn't the same.

"I don't get it. Why would you even participate in this during our last year, anyway?" Clary asked during lunch. She looked over at Simon whose been sitting opposite to her and playing with the camera settings with a visible frown on his face.

Simon didn't know either. Well... That's not quite true but he couldn't tell Clary now, could he? Damn, he couldn't even admit this to himself. Because it _definitely_ wasn't about the fact that as the photographer he could be at every single football match and shamelessly take pictures of the players. One player, to be specific, the quarterback and captain of their team. Of course, Jace Wayland was ridiculously handsome, every person with working eyes could see this; with his blonde hair and different colored eyes (the right one was blue while the left one was a mix of blue and chocolate brown), with a hot body and the way the left corner of his mouth went up faster than the right when he smiled... Okay, so maybe Simon spent a little too much time on staring at Jace. A little. But ever since he figured out his own sexuality (pansexual, ladies and gentlemen) he started to openly appreciate boys more. Besides, drooling over one of the most popular guys in his school was exactly Simon's style. Not to mention that Jace was also kind of an asshole, even though Simon never exactly caught him being rude to others. He just heard stuff. And yet here he was. He couldn't get more cliche even if he tried.

"I've already told you, Clary. If you weren't that busy painting Izzy like one of your French girls you'd know," he scoffed affectionately. Back then, he was so sure that he'd never be able to be happy if Clary didn’t look at him as if he was the one who put the stars in the night sky, but to see her looking that way at Isabelle was one of the most beautiful things in the world. The redhead blushed and immediately closed her notebook. He continued, "I can't afford additional photography classes and here I can practice for free. A little bit of support would be appreciated."

"Oh, you know no one supports you more than I do. It's just that you already sleep so little and editing those pictures is just extra work," she answered with a worried expression.

And yes, maybe Simon didn't sleep much lately but that was because of exams and his job in a coffee shop which he really needed to help his mom, who was raising him and his sister on her own. But Simon wasn't complaining because he could continue his passionate romance with caffeine which was also about the only romance in his life.

"Was Princess Leia complaining that she had too much work when she had to shoot Stormtroopers and find a way out for her, Luke and Han Solo, even though they were supposed to save _her_?" Simon asked and he smiled when Clary looked at him with emotional pain written over her soft features.

"Do you identify yourself with Leia?"

"Totally. Have you seen what kind of shoes she was running in? How can one  _not_  identify with Leia?" he sighed with disapproval. Clary huffed and started to gather her things, apparently thinking that two movie references in one conversation was too much for her. Simon's speculations were confirmed when his friend spoke up again.

"You know what? The day someone truly understands what the hell you're talking about is the day I know you met the love of your life and I'll be the one who will give you away at your wedding. But now I have to go to..."

"Mingle with Isabelle in the library," Simon prompted, dodging when Clary wanted to smack him on the head with her sketchbook. The girl sighed loudly, making her way through the crowd of other students in the cafeteria. Simon was staring after her with a goofy smile on his lips and he didn't notice when someone slipped into Clary's place. When he turned around and saw a dark haired boy sitting opposite from him, he almost fell to the floor while clutching his beating heart, "Dammit, Raphael, don't scare people like that!" He screamed terrified, trying to catch his breath.

Raphael Santiago was in charge of their school's newspaper even though Simon never understood why someone so antisocial was interested in school life. Simon wasn't the life of the party himself but Raphael radiated his disgust towards other students and maybe he had his reasons. Raphael's clothes always looked expensive and immaculately, the guy probably owned a designer shop with suits which he looked great in. He was a Latino with black, always perfectly styled hair. In Simon's opinion, he was attractive (but maybe he was kind of biased since lately he called everyone attractive, but he just loved people) and if he'd just stopped looking at others as if they were some strange animals in the ZOO, he would probably look even better.

It was understandable why he looked at Simon that way though. Two years ago, on the first day of high school, he bumped into Raphael and spilled his blueberry milkshake all over his suit, leaving an ugly stain. Everyone knew that his suits were the most important thing so Simon was doomed. How he was able to become a photographer, he still had no idea, but besides some Spanish words being thrown his way (Simon was pretty sure Raphael just insulted him in a language he couldn't understand), Raph wasn't trying to make a living hell out of his life and he was grateful for that.

"If I wait another twenty years, maybe I'll get lucky and you're gonna get a heart attack," Raphael answered coolly with a light accent that was hidden only when he talked to strangers. You see, Simon always paid attention to his friends (he kind of considered Raphael one of them even if the guy didn't have to know this). He listened, saw, knew. In his opinion he was the perfect best friend. Sadly, no one else seemed to notice that.

"Aww, you want to still be friends with me in twenty years? I knew I was starting to grow on you!" Simon beamed at him, wiggling his eyebrows. He sighed when he saw the uninterested expression on Raphael's face though, "I can keep trying. To what do I owe this special treatment of you appearing with me in public?" He asked after a few seconds, carefully hiding his camera in his backpack. He turned to Raphael then, resting his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands. His gaze was fixed on the other's eyes which clearly made Raphael uncomfortable but he seemed to be used to this.

"Uh, today's the football match and the principal wants us to write about it in the next newspaper. If those idiots win," Raphael scoffed, giving a clear message on what he thought about pointless running around with a ball, "Anyway, you have to be there. Coach said he'll let you on the field so you'd be standing next to him and taking pictures of those sweaty..."

"Raph, I get it. You hate football," Simon interrupted him with a chuckle, but then he furrowed his eyebrows at the next thought, "Wait, do I have to be so close? What if they hit me with the ball? They can break something, I can have a concussion or even die!" he pointed out, completely not exaggerating.

" _Dios,_ I've never waited for a football match this much before," Raphael grinned ironically, getting up from his seat and disappearing into the crowd, just like Clary did minutes ago. Simon looked after him with a shocked expression, he couldn't believe that Raphael Santiago was such an asshole.

He quickly changed his train of thought though, trying to come up with something for his "goodbye letter" to his mom. Just in case he actually did die tonight.

* * *

"Remind me, why am I here?" Clary squinted her green eyes a little, holding Simon's hand tightly so not to get lost in the crowd of people making their way to the bleachers. 

Simon sighed and turned around to face his shorter best friend. He already started sweating due to his nerves. This was nonsense; from the first row he could take pictures as good as he'd get directly from the field and at least he would be safe. However, he knew that their principal was the biggest fan of their football team and Raphael would probably kill him anyway if Simon chickened out. For some reason the Latino scared him more than the possibility of being hit with the ball.

"Because your best friend will die tonight for the greater good. Besides, Isabelle's brother is on the team too so she's watching tonight and therefore I scored you a date," Simon answered as if it was completely obvious. Clary raised her eyebrows in a rather sceptical manner but Simon already dragged her along, and a few minutes later she noticed Isabelle or rather her almost-girlfriend, her they-only-had-to-make-it-official-even-though-everyone-already-knew girlfriend.

Next to Isabelle was Magnus Bane, he was a student three years older than Simon and Alec Lightwood's boyfriend. Magnus was quite... interesting and for Simon he was just magical, even though he usually pretended that he doesn't remember Simon's name. Magnus was from Indonesia, his skin was a light brown color and his eyes were almost orange. His jet black hair always contained glitter and he was known for wearing the most ridiculous clothes in which he managed to look like a model straight from the cover of some magazine. Simon liked to call him their own Beyonce and Magnus really was one, with his love for being the center of attention and being the kindest person ever, if he wanted to be. Moreover, Magnus was incredibly in love with Alec which was amusing to watch especially when Lightwood blushed at even the slightest sign of affection Magnus showed him in public. Magnus had to put a lot of effort to finally convince Alec to go out with him, not because Alec didn't want to, but because he was so deep in the closet, Simon was sure he visited Narnia at some point. And when the older Lightwood finally came out of the closet (or, as Simon preferred to call it, blasted out of it with the speed of sound) by kissing Magnus in front of the whole school during the winter prom last year (go big or go home), Simon cheered the loudest even though they weren't friends yet.

Ever since Clary started to date Izzy, Simon met Alec, Magnus, Ragnor (Magnus's grumpy friend who would get along with Raphael for sure), Lydia, and he even talked to Jace a few times (well, maybe 'talked' was too much since Simon spit out 100 words per second about every single movie he's ever seen and Jace just laughed at his rambling). He honestly didn’t think that anyone in their group liked him, maybe besides Izzy and Magnus, but since Clary hangs out with them, Simon did too so theoretically he was now friends with the 'cool' people. Exactly, theoretically.

"Clary, Solomon, it's nice to see you," Magnus greeted them. Izzy stood up and kissed Clary's cheek. Simon saw his friend's blush, and honestly watching Clary in love was literally the best thing.

"Solomon? That's a new one." Simon adjusted the camera's strip around his neck, raising his eyebrows at the man dressed in burgundy clothes. Magnus seemed to draw attention to him anywhere he went, no matter what he was wearing.

"I'm trying my best." Magnus smiled, slightly bowing, "Make sure you capture Alec from his best side," he added, pointing to the camera.

"And which side is that?" Simon asked, making Isabelle chuckle.

"Oh, don't be like that, darling. You're the only person here that can appreciate the way Alexander's butt looks in those sport shorts. Magnificent," Magnus sighed absent mindedly. Simon rolled his eyes at that. Coming out to Magnus was both the best and the worst thing Simon has ever did because he was pretty sure the whole school knew by now, and Magnus didn't even go here. But Bane was also surprisingly supportive and, for some odd reason that Simon for the life of him couldn't figure out, Magnus convinced himself that Simon was interested in Alec's butt, which he wasn't. Simon hadn't spent his free time thinking about Alec's butt. He hadn't spent any time on it at all, actually.

If you'd ask him about Jace's ass though... He might've had something to say.

"I'mma make close ups. Raphael sure will be thrilled when I send them to him." Simon deadpanned, which made Magnus laugh out loud. Simon was good at this, making his friends laugh, even with his weird sense of humor. They just seemed to get him and that was great, "Okay, I have a meeting with my destiny."

"And I thought I was the dramatic one. Shouldn't the players know where they're supposed to throw the ball? They won't hit you in the face on purpose now, will they, Samson?" Magnus wasn't really paying attention to Simon anymore. He was probably trying to spot Alec and his magnificent butt on the field.

"Yep, but they're playing against San Diego so… Clary, tell my mom I love her and Rebecca can't touch any of my stuff." Simon laughed nervously, clutching the camera in his sweaty palms.

"Dammit," Clary murmured softly. When Simon was slowly making his way down, he heard Isabelle asking what was wrong with San Diego.

Well, long story short — one of the players, Colton, hated Simon. Hated him the way Stiles hated Theo. The way Lee hated Jim in the third season of Gotham. Hated-hated. And everything because Colton's younger sister told him that Simon tried to woo her, just because she lost against him in a science competition six months ago. As if Simon was capable of wooing anyone. He'd sooner trip over the bullshit that came out of his mouth. And to make such a big deal out of a stupid competition? Someone had some serious issues. To the point, Colton might try to kill him. To hell with trying, he'll probably do it.

"Lewis! Hey, Lewis!" Raphael caught him before Simon could walk onto the field. The brown haired boy prayed that the editor changed his mind and will tell him to stay on the bleachers. But Simon wasn’t lucky like that. "We need twelve good pictures. If they win, you can send them to Lily later. If they don't, delete them for all I care," he said with a smooth voice, raising his expressive eyebrows and looking over the field.

"I can't. I promised Magnus that I will photograph Alexander Lightwood's ass," Simon answered in a serious tone, wanting to get a reaction out of Raphael. But the boy didn't even flinch, looking at Simon as if he couldn't quite see how far his stupidity went. 

"Well, in that case I'll leave you to it. You wouldn't want to disappoint your friend, would you?" Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose, murmuring something in Spanish and walking away from Simon without even as much as a glance his way. Simon burst out laughing and turned around, colliding with something tough. Glasses slid down his nose but the brunette checked the camera first, making sure no harm was done.

"Sorry, man. I should've watched where I was going." The voice was smooth, almost velvety. Simon immediately tensed with his gaze fixed on his camera settings. When he finally told himself to get it together and look up, he was met with heterochromatic eyes and a crooked smile. Jace was wearing his jersey with number thirteen and when he stood so close, he seemed to be much taller. Simon opened his mouth, wanting to say something but he was too caught up in breathing in Jace's scent to even remember he had to actually breath out, "You're our photographer for tonight?" he asked, and in that exact same moment his coach called his name.

"Oh, yes, me, photographs," Simon honest to God stuttered, mentally slapping his own face. Jace chuckled and started to walk away to his team when Simon's brain-to-mouth filter finally rebooted itself, "Remember to smile!" he yelled after the blonde boy. Jace looked over his shoulder and waved at him to show that he heard. And okay, Simon totally considered this flirting. Someone should marry them right now.

" _Dios_ , that was pathetic."

Simon literally jumped out of his skin, shooting Raphael a terrified glance. The boy just popped out of nowhere. Again. He had an amused grin on his face and Simon felt as if his cheeks were on fire, "I have no idea what you're talking about and what are you even doing here again?" Simon rambled while trying not to look at the captain. He managed to do so for like two seconds.

"Of course you don't. I forgot to tell you that after the match you have to take a picture of the whole team. Oh, and we don't need twelve pictures of Jace Wayland," Raphael added suggestively. This time, Simon rolled his eyes at him and pushed the shorter boy away. To his surprise Raphael laughed loudly. Simon decided that he liked it when Raphael is in a good mood even if that was hardly possible.

"Hey Raph!" Simon called after him when the editor started to walk away again. The Latino turned around to look at him with a bored expression, "You're not gonna tell anyone, right? Even Clary doesn't know," he said sheepishly, shrugging his arms. He just now admitted to himself that he did, in fact, have a little tiny crush on Jace. It was scary as hell. Not the fact that this was his first full-on crush on another boy. Jace was just gorgeous and way out of his league.

Raphael pretended to lock his mouth and throw away the key, at the same time managing to have a smug look on his face that caused Simon to flip him off. But he knew Raphael wouldn’t tell anyone, mainly because he didn't care and will probably use it only to tease Simon some more.

The first part of the match passed smoothly (after Simon begged the coach to give him a helmet and was almost kicked out behind the banners). Jace scored two times, Alec once (Simon was sure he heard Magnus's squeal after that one). San Diego has still yet to score but Simon already had eight good shots and additional four of Alec's magnificent butt (the things we do for our friends) after Magnus sent him three messages saying:  _"butt!! pictures!! alec!!"_. Simon got the memo.

Simon tried to keep an eye on Colton which was hard when he also wanted to take pictures and stare at Jace to have at least some benefits from being here. But the one moment he decided to actually do his job and capture Jace getting the ball back from Colton's hands, the thing he feared the most happened. Jace was about to take the ball when Colton turned around, risking the loss of points for his team, and used all his strength (and he was like seven feet tall, Simon totally wasn't exaggerating, so he had to have LOTS of strength) to throw the ball at Simon. The latter caught up on this just in time to cover the camera with his arms, not even thinking about his face and that was the place where the ball hit.

* * *

When Simon woke up, he saw a blurry face over him. He only recognized Clary because of her fiery red hair. She sighed in relief, giving him back his glasses so he could see that he was currently in the nurses room at their school with Clary, Isabelle, Magnus and…

"Raphael? Oh my God, you were worried about me! Aww," Simon murmured because his head hurt too much to make louder noises. He felt sick and he just prayed to himself that he won't throw up all over the place. That would've been beyond embarrassing.

"He's fine, he's annoying again." Raphael scoffed, adding some Spanish words that sounded awfully like "idiot" and "stupid". 

"What happened? Did we win?" Simon asked, slowly sitting up and trying to stop the room from spinning. That was a lot harder than it seemed.

"They stopped the match after that guy threw the ball at you, and Jace broke his nose which got him suspended from the team." Izzy sounded way too excited about that, laughing at Simon's lost expression.

"Jace did what to who now?"

Magnus smiled smugly at him, raising his eyebrows, "My dear Steven, Jace Wayland broke Colton's nose to defend your honor. I'm saying, marry him right now. Jace is outside with Alexander," he said, lazily running a hand through his glittered hair. Simon almost choked on his own spit, looking straight at Raphael. 

"You weren't supposed to tell anyone!"

"I didn't!" Raphael defended himself, furrowing his eyebrows with clear annoyance. Magnus burst out laughing while Clary just looked really confused.

"Tell anyone what?" she asked, looking around at her friends. Isabelle threw her arm around the redhead, smiling sweetly. 

"That your friend is totally in love with my brother," Izzy explained. Simon sat frozen, his eyes wide open just like his mouth. He couldn't believe that this was really happening.

"Jace," Magnus added quickly.

Simon blinked and looked at the grumpy Raphael, leaning against the wall next to the door, "You totally told them," he sighed but before the editor could get mad again, the nurse walked back in. She smiled when she saw that Simon was already awake.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, ignoring the other four people. Simon suspected that Clary fought for the right to stay by his side and the nurse probably thought it was better not to argue. Clary was tiny but she could certainly be scary.

"Like Jason Statham after he was poisoned with the Chinese drug," he answered, gaining annoyed huffs from his friends.

"It was in  _Adrenaline_. He means that his head hurts and the room is probably spinning."

Simon completely missed the moment Jace entered the room, that's why his voice startled Simon and almost made him fall to the floor. He looked around to see that Magnus already slipped out, probably to meet Alec outside. The brunette slowly nodded, still too surprised with the fact that someone actually understood his movie reference to answer. He briefly noticed Clary's knowing smirk and he rolled his eyes but that hurt him too.

"It looks like a concussion," the nurse stated and Raphael scoffed, probably annoyed with the fact that Simon was right about that, "You should get checked at the hospital. Should I call someone to come and get you, love?" she asked, lightly touching his forehead where he could feel the bruise. Simon tried to think of anyone who could come and get him, and suddenly he wanted to cry because he probably looked like hell. Jace got suspended off the team because of him and there was no one who could take him to the hospital because his Mom worked night shifts and his father walked out to buy cigarettes eight years ago and never came back. Colton must've hit him harder than he thought.

He looked over at Jace, who stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and looked at Simon with an expression he couldn't read through. He looked as if he might be worried but why would he be worried about Simon? That didn't make any sense.

"I'll take him," Clary quickly offered, clearly sensing her friend's mood shift. Simon smiled at her, reaching out to her and she grabbed his hand tightly, stroking his skin with her thumb.  He was grateful that she dropped the topic of him being in love with Jace even though she probably wanted to know more. Besides, love? Phhst, who came up with that?

"Send the pictures to Lily,  _amigo_. We can make an article about the scandal on the field. I'll gladly write about the loser that managed to get knocked out without even being the player," Raphael said, when ten minutes later they walked out of the room.

" _Amigo_? Did you hear that, Clary? I'm Raphael's best friend!" Simon squealed, leaning slightly on his shorter friend to stop himself from fainting or vomiting. Jace would totally consider this attractive. Oh god, and what was he still doing here, anyway? Maybe he was waiting for Simon to apologize for getting him suspended?

" _Dios,_  what have I done to deserve this?" Raphael mumbled and walked away without another word. He didn't even look back. Isabelle scoffed, amused. Her high heels clicking on the floor were the only sound in the hallway for a while.

"By the way, Simon, you ruined my and Clary's date with your almost-death," Izzy raised her perfect eyebrows, looking at her painted nails. The truth was, Simon was terrified of Isabelle because she looked like she could kill him with her heels. And she probably could. That's why the thought of ruining anything for her was petrifying and it made Simon feel even worse because instead of enjoying the Friday night with her girlfriend, Clary would spend the night with him in the hospital. 

"Damn, seriously?" he asked worried, pulling away from Clary so he could look at her. She smiled with a blush on her cheeks, and she shrugged.

"It's nothing…"

"No, Clary. You should totally go with Izzy," Simon interrupted, leaning against the wall so Clary wouldn't have to help him and also he wouldn't end up with his face on the floor. Ha, Raphael would regret walking away before he could witness something so beautiful.

"I was joking, you nerd." Isabelle agreed with Clary, now looking a little worried with the fact that Simon took her words so seriously.

"Of course I knew this, duh." Of course, Simon didn't know this. He was reminded of Jace's presence when he heard a light chuckle beside him. Not that he could ever forget about the fact that he's making an idiot out of himself in front of his crush, "But I still think that you should go. I was the one who dragged Clary to the match with the excuse of a date with you, so… I'll call my Mom and ask if she can come get me."

"Simon…" Clary wasn't convinced when she slightly stroked his hair. Few months ago he would be happy that she was so worried about him but now he really didn't want to keep her by his side for longer than necessary.

"Jesus, I'll take him if we finally get out of this school. It's Friday, god dammit. You want to have a sleepover here?" Jace interrupted for the first time with annoyance in his voice. But when Simon looked at him, Jace was smiling. And honestly? Simon might've died a little inside because this wasn't his usual smug grin that made him look like an asshole. That was an honest to God smile and damn…

"I got hit much harder than I remember," Simon stated, furrowing his eyebrows and pushing his glasses up. Isabelle smiled as if she knew something they didn't, and she leaned in to Clary, whispering in her ear. Simon's friend looked a little surprised but then she smiled too, looking at Simon. He didn't like it, he was all in for girl-power but not when it was used against him by his best friends and right now those two were clearly up to no good.

"Okay, if you both insist. But call me as soon as you get home, Simon. We need to talk and… Wait, really?" Clary asked suddenly, looking offended. Simon really had a hard time concentrating or her words actually made no sense this time, "Raphael Santiago knew and I didn't?!"

"Bye Clary, have fun!" Simon yelled way too loud, pushing the redhead in Isabelle's direction and motioning for her to take her girlfriend away, which Izzy gladly did, waving at Jace. It wasn't until then that Simon realized he was alone with the captain of the football team for the first time and he had no idea how to act. He could already feel that his brain-to-mouth filter was shutting down, "So, uh… it sucks that you got suspended because of me, right?" he tried, turning to face the slightly taller blonde and he nervously pushed his glasses up. Jace was wearing his burgundy jersey and a leather jacket, and Simon thought it was completely unfair to look so good in casual clothes. 

Jace shrugged his shoulders, tilting his head to the left and looking at Simon with weird intensity, "It's only a month. Besides Colton had it coming. By the way, why was he trying to kill you?" Jace asked, bouncing off the wall and stepping closer to Simon. He stopped in front of him, definitely too close if he wanted Simon to answer him. Or even breathe at all.

"You know, that is a funny story…" Simon mumbled and laughed nervously because this story wasn't even a little bit funny. Why do people say this when they wanted to say something really unfunny? "Six months ago I won a science competition in San Diego against Colton's younger sister and if you think I'm a nerd, then you should see Mili. She had a literal breakdown and not that I'm judging her because we all have something important to us but that was just a school's competition and…"

"The point, Simon?" Jace interrupted softly, raising one of his eyebrows with an amused smirk on his face. The brunette only stared at him for a while because he couldn't believe that Jace Wayland actually remembered his name. Oh God, this was destiny.

"Yeah, right," he sighed, realising he has been rambling again, "Well, Mili told Colton that I tried to woo her and this is the funny part because look at me. Do I look like someone who'd be able to woo anyone? Especially someone pretty? I'd die of embarrassment but first I'd say something like "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" And okay, some people might think it's cute, especially when someone pretty says it, that's why it wouldn't be cute coming out of my mouth because I'm not pretty. I'm just really stupid." Simon continued, barely catching his breath. Jace furrowed his eyebrows at Simon's last sentence and the brunette mentally slapped himself. This was the most awkward conversation they've had and that said something, "But Colton believed her and made it his goal to send me six feet under but who can blame him? I mean, if it was Rebecca, I'd act the same way... Okay, so I wouldn't hit anyone with a ball because I'd totally miss but you know what I mean."

"Rebecca is your… sister, right?" Jace asked and one corner of his mouth lifted a little when he saw Simon's surprised expression, "Clary told me."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Um, right, Rebecca is my sister," he confirmed. Why would Clary talk to Jace about him? Maybe she knew from the start and just wanted to compromise him? No, Clary wasn't like that. But Simon couldn't think of any reason as to why Jace would be in any way interested in him. This overthinking caused painful throbbing in Simon's head again and he must've made a face because suddenly Jace looked worried again and Simon died for the second time.

"Okay, we'll talk later. Now hospital," the boy decided. He carefully wrapped his arm around Simon's waist, holding him up so Simon wouldn't collapse. And if it wasn't for the pain, Simon would probably scream internally because the most handsome guy at school was touching him and hello, Simon won at life. 

Maybe he'll even send Colton an e-mail to say thank you.

* * *

Simon was sitting on the hospital bed, waiting for his doctor to return with his results, when Jace took the white apron that was left on the chair probably by one of the nurses and put it on, smiling like an idiot. Simon discovered that it gets easier with each minute to be around Jace without making a fool out of himself. Maybe it was due to the fact that Jace didn't seem to get annoyed by his rambling which was Simon's nature or maybe it was because Jace understood his movie references and Simon was sure that they were soulmates and they should get married right now. The blonde boy was nothing like the asshole everyone talked about at school. Jace was... sarcastic, of course. Cocky even. And he joked about Simon's clumsiness but besides that, he was also really kind and funny. It was like he could see Simon was stressed out (which was hard not to notice) and he tried to calm him down.

"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to wear this," Simon stated, pushing his glasses up a little. He should probably buy some smaller ones that wouldn't slide down every minute but oh well.

"Who cares? I look great," Jace snorted and when Simon was about to agree, some young nurse opened the door a little.

"Excuse me, doctor, you're needed in twelve," she said and disappeared again. Jace looked over to Simon with raised eyebrows and then they both burst out laughing, which caused a throbbing pain in the back of Simon's head but it was worth it because Jace's laugh was something else. Or Simon was just hopelessly in love and that was stupid since he talked to Jace only like... six times in his life.

"I'd make a good doctor, after all. I have this face, everyone trusts me," Jace stated ironically, taking the apron off and throwing it back on the chair to sit on the edge of Simon's bed. Simon sat there with crossed legs and a bandaged head, and he looked into Jace's eyes.

"Yeah, you have this face," he murmured. Jace tilted his head a little to the side and smiled softly. He couldn't answer, though, because the door opened again and this time the real doctor walked in, making Simon blush and look down, wondering why he couldn’t act normal.

"You got hit pretty bad, kiddo," the woman said, looking through Simon's file and then at Simon himself.

"Huh, you should see the other guy," Simon joked nervously.

"Mhm, definitely," Jace added with a weird satisfaction, leaning back on his elbows in a reclining position. Simon laughed sincerely even if he still couldn't understand why Jace was the one who stood up for him and beat Colton up.

"You have a concussion and I'm afraid you'll have to stay for a night so we can make sure that there is no other damage. Is there anyone you'd like us to call?" the blonde woman asked with a kind smile and Simon groaned with frustration. Then he quickly grabbed his head and this time he groaned with pain. You'd think that in a hospital they would give him something so he wouldn't have to feel the pain but no. They preferred to torture their patients.

"I'm gonna call my Mom. Will you give me endless access to morphine now like in Sherlock, or should I write a will?" Simon sighed dramatically, thinking about the fact that he spends too much time with Magnus, the ultimate drama queen. Jace looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, reaching his hand out in Simon's direction. Simon automatically closed his eyes, not because he thought that Jace would harm him in any way, but because he simply didn't know what to expect. Jace gently pushed the strand of hair from Simon's forehead and when Simon opened his eyes again, Jace shook his head disapprovingly like he wanted to say 'what did you think I'd do, idiot?'

"We can't give you strong painkillers because we don't want you to fall asleep. We're going to monitor you, just to make sure you'll be okay. Oh, and if your boyfriend wants to stay with you, let me know right now so I can tell the nurse that will bring you your meds," the doctor answered, seizing them with a look and smiling fondly at both boys. Simon's jaw dropped down and his cheeks literally burned with a bright red color when he tried to explain that they weren’t together and she doesn't have to tell anyone anything because, of course, they arrived together but not TOGETHER together...

"I'll stay," Jace interrupted with amusement in his voice, lightly pushing Simon's knee when the boy tried to catch his breath after all the rambling. The woman sighed and nodded, leaving and quietly closing the door, "I don't understand why you always talk so much. You're lucky you're cute, otherwise I'd consider it annoying," Jace sighed like someone who thought they're too good for this world. To be fair, Jace probably thought that about himself. 

"Well excuse me, no one told you to sit here if I'm so… Wait, what?" Simon asked dumbfounded when he finally realized what Jace had said.

Jace Wayland just called him cute. Okay, calm down. Jace is straight, right? Guys could call other guys cute, no homo. But what if there was homo? His gaydar was still kind of shitty but he had only two years to get used to realizing he wasn’t straight. He always knew he wasn't straight, that much was obvious but it wasn't until his crush on Jace that Simon let himself actually embrace who he truly was. Simon probably wasn't the only one, there must've been lots of people that questioned their sexuality because of Jace. But his poor, pansexual heart had a difficult night and Simon decided to blame all of this on Colton who punched him in the head which resulted in Simon not being able to think straight (pun totally intended). Jace looked at him with amusement, his hair was a little disheveled and he was smiling, and he looked so pretty and Simon wanted to punch him because someone like this shouldn't exist and he shouldn't be so nice to Simon, and maybe Simon should get his shit together right this second.

"I mean, uh, you really don't have to stay. Thanks for driving me here and for breaking Colton's nose. I'm also sorry that you got suspended because of this," Simon stated, much calmer now, nodding his head and stubbornly keeping his gaze on his own hands instead of Jace who was still laying on the bed.

"I already told you, it's not a big deal, Simon. Besides, what kind of boyfriend would leave his partner in pain when he already wants to write a will, huh?" Jace grinned at him when Simon finally looked up and rolled his eyes, pushing the blonde haired boy a little.

"You are an asshole after all," he stated and rolled onto his back, hitting his head on the pillow a little too hard. He closed his eyes and smiled at the sound of Jace's laughter. Suddenly he felt exhausted by everything that had happened today. He yawned and didn't even notice when Jace got up because he was too busy falling asleep. He'd probably do it in a matter of seconds if it wasn't for someone who harshly pushed him to the left, making him jump a little.

"The doctor said you can't sleep," Jace reminded him, unceremoniously climbing to the small bed next to Simon. He moved the pillow up so he could comfortably lay down while taking his phone out of his pocket.

"What do you think you're doing?" Simon asked, raising his eyebrows and trying to ignore how close Jace was.

"I'm going to show you videos with funny cats to keep you awake," Jace answered seriously, opening YouTube. Simon pulled himself up and looked at the football player who already started to look for the right video.

"I can't believe that for three years I thought you were this cool, intimidating dude when really you're such a big sap," Simon snorted, making Jace lightly kick his ankle while still looking at the screen.

"I still know thirty six ways to kill someone with a spoon so if I were you, I'd be careful," Jace deadpanned without a bite but Simon didn't doubt that he was telling the truth and he had no desire to find out. 

He got the chance to spend a night with Jace and he wanted to be alive for that, didn't he?

* * *

Of course, Simon fell asleep after all but only for like an hour before the nurse came in to wake him up. Simon was mortified when he noticed that he'd been drooling over Jace's arm in his sleep. The only good thing about that morning was the fact that Jace was sleeping too so he hadn't noticed that right away.

Its been a week since Jace drove Simon home and asked him to be careful with his head. Its been a week since Simon started to avoid Jace which wasn't making any sense not only to himself but also to every person around him. But now when Clary knew, it seemed more real and in Simon's head that was a valid reason to back away.

"You're sick," stated Clary when they both walked out of their biology class and turned to walk towards their lockers, "What're you so afraid of?"

Simon scoffed with annoyance, "Embarrassment? Being laughed at in front of the whole school? Possible death? You know, I have my fair share of abandonment issues."

"You like Jace. What's wrong with that? When I told you that I liked Izzy and then those two football players made fun of me, you lectured half of our school that being straight isn't obligatory and I swear that later those same guys were arguing over your definition of pansexualism because one of them thought he understood you better than the other," Clary continued as if he didn't interrupt at all. Simon remembered that mostly because that was the first time he actually stood up to someone to defend his best friend and that's when he gained his nickname, 'the activist'. "You're Simon Lewis, you fight for our rights. So why won't you fight for yours, too, and just go to get your boy so we could go on double dates with Jace and Izzy?"

"Are you insane? First of all, Jace is straight and Izzy is as far away from straight as possible. Second of all, it was just a little crush before I could actually have a normal conversation with him and spend some time together. He was nice to me and he gets my movie references, and I drooled all over him in my sleep!" he groaned, hitting his head on the locker which was a bad idea because the bruise on his forehead started to throb with pain again. On the bright side, Colton's nose was broken and he probably suffered more.

"Simon, you're in love!" Clary squealed enthusiastically, squeezing his arm. 

Simon frantically looked around, covering her mouth with his hand to silence her, "I'm not telling you anything ever again! And I'm not in love!" he stated, annoyed. Because he wasn't. Totally not. The redhead pushed his hand away and rolled her eyes, throwing her books into the locker.

"I still can't believe you told Raphael before you told me."

"I did not. Raphael always sneaks on people and he knows everything. I'm pretty sure he's a vampire," Simon murmured. He turned around and immediately jumped back, hitting his locker at the sight of Raphael who stood right behind him and smirked, "You fucking asshole! I told you not to do this!" he yelled with pure frustration, looking at the shorter boy.

"Mister Lewis, detention after school for using inappropriate language." His biology teacher, Mr Danvers, announced while he walked by. Simon cursed under his breath and harshly pushed Raphael.

"Si, I have to go to my next class. Are you gonna be at Magnus's party tonight?" Clary ignored the death glare Simon was sending Raphael's way. She could never understand what was between these two and she wasn't so sure she wanted to understand it.

"Yes, unless the Edward Cullen wannabe gets me some extra hours at detention," Simon scoffed, absent mindedly kissing Clary's head as a goodbye.

"Edward Cullen?" Raphael asked, raising his expressive eyebrows a little. His voice was far from interested, his brown eyes looked over at Clary's back when she walked away. Raphael seemed to never care about anything. Simon wondered how nice it must be.

"Yeah, you know… Twilight? Bella Swan? Edward Cullen? Don't tell me you've never seen this movie," he groaned at the sight of the editor's blank expression. Simon opened his mouth, shaking his head with disbelief. Yeah, that movie was trash, but literally, who hasn’t seen it? "You wanted something from me or do you just enjoy scaring the hell out of me?" he asked resigned, leaning against his locker. A few minutes later the bell rang and students started to walk faster, pushing an irritated Raphael out their way. Simon sighed, yanking the shorter boy forward so he stood next to him and the people could simply walk by. Finally, the hallway was empty so the brunette let go of Raphael and tilted his head to the side, prompting his friend to talk.

Raphael smoothed his jacket, " _Gracias_. There's another match on Monday but this time I haven't agreed for you to stay on the field so you'd be behind the banners. If you still want to be the photographer, that is," he added quickly, shrugging his shoulders and avoiding Simon's eyes. Simon was shocked when it hit him that Raphael was actually worried when he got hurt during the other match. It was nice of him to give Simon a choice but the brunette felt bad at the thought that Raphael might blame himself.

Simon couldn't believe it took him this long to figure out that Raphael simply needed a friend and Simon was the closest anyone could get to being just that. But before Simon could assure him that of course he still wants to be the photographer and he'll be there on the Monday's match, Raphael's expression changed to an interested one, when he noticed something on the other side of the hallway. Simon followed his gaze and he saw Jace who just got out of the classroom and stopped next to the door, looking back at them.

"You said something about drooling over him?" Raphael smirked and Simon immediately changed his mind about him. Raphael Santiago was a little shit.

Simon quickly grabbed Raphael's wrist and yanked him in the opposite direction, not looking back at the captain. Maybe he acted childishly but he couldn't risk Raphael walking over to Jace and asking about the amount of drool they talked about. He'd totally do that.

* * *

The universe had to seriously hate Simon because when he finally made it to detention (only 15 minutes late), the first thing he saw was that Jace Wayland sat at the last desk next to the window. The dark haired boy cursed under his breath.

"Mister Lewis. How nice of you to bless us with your presence," Danvers said with sarcasm dripping from his voice. He barely looked up from his papers. Simon forced a smile and sat at the first desk near the door because he couldn't possibly get further away from Jace. Smooth.

Simon had spent the whole hour, wondering what the hell he was doing. Why was he trying so hard to avoid Jace when he probably wasn't even looking for him? It wasn't that big of a deal. Okay, so he was in love with Jace, so what? He used to think he was in love with Clary and he got over that. It won't be any different this time so there's no reason to panic, and acting the way he did only made him look like an idiot.

He got out of the classroom with a pleased look on his face. He was going to tell Clary he was done with this weird behavior. But if everything would go according to the plan, Simon's life would be way too easy.

"Simon, wait!" He heard Jace's yell coming from somewhere behind him. And it's not like he sped up while turning the corner. Not at all. "Please, wait," the boy asked again and in no time Simon felt a hand catching his wrist to stop him and turn him around so he could face the slightly taller student, "Can we talk?" Jace asked almost… shyly, looking at Simon and making his heart beat faster.

Simon swallowed the lump in his throat, "I thought you didn’t want to be seen with me at school," he said, looking for any kind of excuse as to why he practically ran away. Jace frowned and let go of Simon's hand. The latter immediately missed the warm feeling.

"That's why you've been avoiding me for a week now?"

"I wasn't..." Lewis started but he was interrupted by Jace's snort. Simon defensively crossed his arms, not really sure where this conversation was going. He certainly didn't feel comfortable though, "What do you want to talk about?" he asked instead, looking down at his sneakers.

"Have I done something wrong?" Jace started after a bit of silence. Simon's head shot up with disbelief written all over his face to see how the eighteen year old boy ran his hand through his blonde hair in a nervous manner. Nervous Jace Wayland was the last thing Simon would've expected to see, "Back then, in the hospital, we got along, right? And then Isabelle told me you liked me but you started to avoid me on Monday and…"

"Izzy did what?!" Simon yelled way louder and in a way more high-pitched voice than he intended. He thought they were friends but friends don't do things like that to each other. It was an unwritten bro rule! How could Isabelle tell Jace? Simon understood that it was her adopted brother but still.

Jace looked confused but then his face turned into a worried expression when he noticed that Simon took a step back. He couldn't be here anymore, he needed some air. He felt like Carrie, except he wasn't covered in blood and they weren't at the prom. Besides he hated the remake with Chloe Grace Moretz.

Dammit, Simon. Focus.

"Simon, what's going…"

Simon shook his head, not looking at Jace. Isabelle couldn't possibly understand what she has done. Right now Simon was comfortable with his sexuality but when he first found out he wasn’t straight, he was scared shitless and for a long time he couldn't even find it in him to tell his Mom, too afraid of being rejected. Jace was the first boy he was in love with and it was obvious he would reject him too. Simon knew this. But it didn't mean he was ready for it.

"I gotta… I gotta go. I'm sorry," he mumbled, turning around and bolting.

And he ran from Jace once more.

* * *

"Rafa, honey, there's some adorable boy who wants to see you!"

Raphael blinked twice to wake himself up and lazily got out of bed, wondering who it might be. Only a few people knew where he lived and he was certain he didn't want to see any of them right now.

But the last person he expected was Simon Lewis, looking like he was about to cry any minute. Raphael immediately felt awake and without asking any questions he pushed Simon towards his bedroom, locking the door behind them. The last thing he needed was his  _mamá_  questioning him later about why this 'adorable boy' cried in their hallway.

"What the hell are you doing here,  _idiota_?" he hissed, crossing his arms. He thought that the photographer would be at this party his redheaded friend talked about, "How did you even know where I live?" he asked suspiciously, raising one eyebrow. Simon nervously pushed his glasses up and sat on the edge of Raphael's bed, looking down at his hands. He was dressed in dark jeans, a white T-shirt with some anime design and a black hoodie, his brown and slightly curly hair was a mess.

"Lily gave me the address. I had nowhere else to go," Simon stated quietly, shrugging his shoulders.

"And you thought that coming here is a good idea because…" he continued, trying to understand what exactly was happening. Raphael had no friends simply because he didn't need them and also because he couldn't act… properly? He couldn't fit in, he was a good Catholic, he loved his family and minded his own business, treating others as if they always annoyed him to no end which was true. It scared people away but for some reason it didn't work with Simon who destroyed Raphael's jacket the first time they met. Raphael was still mad at him, it was his favorite jacket.

"Because I didn't want pity and I knew that you wouldn't try to cheer me up? I don't know, I just didn't feel like being alone," Simon muttered, shyly looking up at Raphael who stood next to the door. The Latino sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wanted to ask Simon why he chose him from all of the people in New York but he didn't because he found that being someone's choice isn't really that bad. Even if the choice was made by the most annoying nerd in a stupid T-shirt.

"Do you want to… uh, talk about what happened?" he asked instead, walking over to his bed and sitting down next to the other student. Simon looked at him surprised, like he wanted to make sure Raphael wasn't joking. Raph smiled slightly, encouraging him.

Simon exhaled loudly, "I had a fight with Clary. And Isabelle. And I pissed Alec off. Izzy told Jace that I liked him so I panicked and ran away. I yelled at Isabelle and Clary yelled at me because apparently her girlfriend is now more important than her best friend. Alec is pissed because I screamed at his sister. And maybe I overreacted. Do you think I overreacted? Like Tate Langdon in season one of American Horror Story when he was supposed to scare this girl in the basement but he also scared Violet?" Simon rambled, quickly moving his hands and almost hitting Raphael in the face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Raphael sighed, rolling his eyes and thinking about what Simon said. It might've looked like he overreacted but on the other hand when you saw Simon's nervousness, lack of confidence or anxiety, you could understand his behavior. Clary definitely should've understood, she knew him since he was a child. Even Raphael noticed Simon's issues and even though under normal circumstances he would probably laugh at him because now Jace knew about his little crush, he didn't do it. He felt bad for the boy and he knew how he must feel even as an aro/ace person who didn't have to bother with this stuff. Lucky for Raphael.

"I don't know how much my opinion means but I think you had every right to be pissed,  _amigo_. Isabelle shouldn't have told Jace. Even I wouldn't tell. Don't worry that much. If Jace Wayland isn't interested, his loss. He's just a stupid football player after all," Raphael stated, slightly bumping Simon's shoulder. The dark haired boy chuckled, looking over at the editor.

"You really think so?" Simon asked, sniffling and being dangerously close to tears to Raphael's liking.

"Yep. Now get up, we're going to this party at Magnus's and you're going to get so wasted you'll forget about everything. And I'll forget about this embarrassing conversation," Raphael sighed. Simon burst out laughing, making Raphael smile a little.

"You're the worst, Rafa," Simon answered, using a nickname only Raphael's mom used. Raphael looked at Simon and thought that maybe having a friend isn't that bad.

* * *

"Sally, I thought you weren’t gonna make it and I haven't thanked you for the pictures yet!" Magnus yelled when Simon and Raphael made their way to the bar Magnus was standing behind. Pandemonium was a club owned by Magnus's uncle but it was Mags who was in charge when his relative took care of his business in different cities. Obviously Magnus used the club to his own benefit, gaining the title of The King of Parties in New York. Right now he was wearing purple trousers with a jacket in the same color, underneath it he had a lavender dress shirt with lips painted red all over it. Simon was almost sure that two weeks ago he saw this shirt on Isabelle. Magnus's black hair was purposefully messy and the glitter he showered them with sparkled in the club's purple lights. He looked magical. 

"Who's Sally?" Raphael asked, tugging slightly at the sleeve of Simon's black dress shirt. Rafa hadn’t let go of Simon's sleeve since they entered the club and Simon understood why. He, too, was always overwhelmed with the amount of people Magnus knew and right now he really wanted to have Raphael by his side in case he met Clary or Isabelle. Or worse, Jace. His talk with the Latino helped him a lot (who'd have thought that Raphael was so good at the whole advice thing?) but it didn't change the fact that he was terrified with the perspective of meeting Jace after he ran away from school earlier. 

"Simon, Magnus. My name is Simon. And this is Raphael, my friend. Rafa, this is Magnus, Alec's boyfriend and our host," Simon introduced them, looking at how Magnus mixed some drinks, making amazing colors.

"It's nice to meet you, Raphael," Bane answered, flashing his charming smile, "Oh, Sharon," he turned to Simon, because obviously only his name was too difficult to remember, "I talked to Isabelle and explained why the thing she did was unforgivable. I lectured Clary on "bros before hoes" and Alexander is no longer mad, too. But I think you should talk to Jonathan. Poor boy thinks he caused your mental breakdown. He should go find him, right Raphael?" Magnus asked, walking over the bar and nodding to a blue haired girl who worked with him. Simon was too stunned with Magnus's rant to react. Magnus stood up for him to his own friends and that was by far the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him.

"Uh... I guess so?" Raphael murmured, not being used to Magnus's loud personality. The host laughed out loud and took Raphael by his elbow, yanking him away from Simon.

"No, wait!" Simon yelled quickly, feeling the growing panic which he could also hear in his own voice. Magnus gracefully turned around, holding up a blue drink, "First of all, can I take your picture?"

"Of course, Sonic. I'm surprised you're asking just now," Magnus sighed and then he smiled to the camera. Simon took a picture and held the Polaroid between his fingers, breathing on it to warm it up and saw a grinning Magnus, standing next to an annoyed Raphael. Simon decided this was his new favorite picture. 

"Second of all, if I'm going to look for Jace, I need this," Simon continued, taking the drink out of Magnus's hand and drinking it with one sip. It was sweet but the large amount of alcohol made Simon flinch. If every drink was this strong, Simon admired the fact that Magnus could still stand on his own. Bane rolled his eyes and snapped his finger; a few seconds later the blue haired barmaid handed him another glass, this time the drink was green, "Third of all, Raphael, can I leave you for a few minutes? Will you take care of him, Magnus?" he asked, looking from the host to his friend. Magnus was right, Simon should talk to Jace, now or never, but on the other hand he didn't really want to leave Raphael after he was the one who dragged him here.

"Naturally, darling. I think he'll get along with my friend, Ragnor," Magnus hummed happily. The Latino sighed resigned but he nodded and even smiled a little at Simon.

"Just go,  _amigo_. But don't drool over him this time."

"I hate you so much, Rafa," Simon stated seriously but when he heard the shorter boys' laughter, he couldn't stay mad at him. For a while he stood there and watched as Magnus dragged Raphael into the crowd, then he sighed and looked around. How was he supposed to find Jace here?

He started to push his way through the dance floor, at the same time trying to see anything in those purple laser lights and hundreds of dancing bodies.

"Simon?! Simon!" Clary caught his sleeve and pulled him with her into the small free space in front of the DJ's console. Simon pushed his glasses up and looked at her, "I thought you wouldn’t come! I'm so sorry, Si, I shouldn't yell at you like that!" she talked loudly, yanking him down to make sure he'll hear her despite the loud music.

"It's fine, I'm not mad! Have you seen Jace?!" he yelled back and at the sight of his friends' smile he rolled his eyes, expectantly raising one eyebrow.

"Last time I saw him, he was with Alec on the other side of the club, trying to get wasted but Alec keeps taking his drinks. Just... go to the right and you'll find him for sure. I gotta find Isabelle who, unfortunately, is already wasted and who will start a striptease on the bar any minute," the redhead sighed and Simon burst out with laughter. No matter what they'd fight about, he could never stay mad at Clary. She was just in love, Simon had to forgive her.

"Thanks. Can you take care of my camera for a moment?" he asked because for some reason he thought that it'll be safer with Clary who was probably about to leave the club anyway. Clary nodded so he took the camera off his neck and handed it to his shorter friend.

Simon spent the next ten minutes pushing his way to the other side of the room. He turned around because he wanted to use the bathroom first but instead he bumped into someone and hit his head on the other person's chin, making his head hurt again as if the loud music wasn't enough to cause a migraine. 

"Shit, I'm sorry," he said loudly, rubbing his forehead and looking up to see no one else other than Jace himself. It was like fucking fate. The blonde haired boy looked at him surprised then quickly smiled.

"I told you to be careful with your head," Jace answered, leaning slightly to Simon so he could hear him better. The shorter student swallowed, smelling Jace's cologne and to hell with that if it wasn't Simon's new favorite smell.

"I, uh, yeah... Can we... Can we talk somewhere quieter?" he asked, looking down at his shoes. Jace already knew anyway ( _thanks, Izzy_ ) so there was no point in avoiding him any longer, besides Simon was quite curious as to what Jace wanted to talk about at school. They didn't have the chance to finish because Simon made a fool out of himself. It couldn't possibly get worse so now Simon decided to be like Alexander Lightwood and go big or go home.

"Sure, come with me." Jace held his wrist and pulled him in the direction of a short hallway. Simon could feel his heartbeat speeding up because of Jace's touch and he told himself to calm down because he was almost sure Jace could feel his pulse, and he really didn't need any more reasons to embarrass himself.

The music started to get more quiet and finally Jace pushed the backdoor, leading them to the cool air that made Simon shiver because he was only wearing his black dress button-up and this stupid red bow-tie. Why did he wear it anyway? He still had no idea. Why hadn’t Raphael said anything? And why wasn’t Magnus making fun of him? He had no... Wait up, that's not true. Magnus dated Alec who owned only black clothes so Simon wasn't the worst person in Magnus's group of friends when it came to fashion.

Jace released his wrist and Simon immediately missed the warm feeling he felt before, "If this is about what Izzy told me..." Jace started, turning around to face him and crossing his arms. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a navy blue dress shirt with rolled up sleeves. This color brought out his eyes, making the blue one look lighter and the brown one... warmer.

And that was probably the gayest thought in Simon's life.

"No, wait," he interrupted, raising his hand to stop Jace. He leaned against the wall and looked at the boy in front of him. "I've prepared my speech and you have to let me say this first. But don't interrupt me, okay?"

"Okay," Jace chuckled. Simon immediately looked at his lips, they looked so soft... And yeah, maybe Clary was right about this whole 'being in love' thing. 

"Maybe 'okay' will be our... You know what? Nevermind. I'm sorry for the way I acted today at school. It's just—I like you, yeah? Yeah, I've said it!" Simon exclaimed, looking everywhere but at Jace. He couldn't deal with his expression, he was just scared of what he might see, "But you're this popular kid and I'm no one, and this isn't some clichè fanfiction that would end well so I'd be really grateful if you could spare me the public humiliation and never mention it again," he added in one breath, feeling as if his heart just got a lot lighter. He took a deep breath and when after a few minutes Jace still hasn't said anything, Simon hesitantly perked up.

"Are you done? You had the flow, I didn't want to stop you," Jace snorted, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing. Simon hated the way his eyes automatically followed his movement. 

"You're an asshole," Simon mumbled when his nerves were replaced by pure irritation. He just admitted his crush and Jace was actually  _laughing_ at him. But, maybe this shouldn't surprise him so much, Jace was usually laughing at him. What did Simon see in him anyway?

"That's what they told me. But what if I... What if I want to mention it?" Jace asked, taking a step forward so he was closer to Simon. The dark haired boy swallowed hard, trying to back away and maybe sink into the wall behind him.

"You want to tell your friends from the team? They probably already hate me because their captain got suspended because of me and now you want to tell them that I..." Simon rambled nervously, starting to feel how his hands were getting sweaty. Jace was still slowly walking to him, stopping only when his boots touched Simon's sneakers and Simon had to tilt his head up just to look into Jace's eyes. Maybe now Jace actually wanted to punch him? Simon sometimes wanted to do this himself but he didn't like to feel the pain. But if Wayland wanted to punch him then why was he smiling? And why did he start to lean in?

Simon unconsciously held his breath, dragging his eyes down to the other boys' lips which were on his a few seconds later. Simon stilled for a moment, not quite believing what was happening. Jace Wayland was kissing him. Him. Simon Lewis.

 _Yeah, and he'll stop in a minute if you just stand here like an idiot —_ his mind supplied and then Simon followed his instincts. He pushed against Jace to kiss him back and when he opened his mouth, Jace's tongue found its way inside to slide down Simon's tongue. The dark haired boy put his hands on Jace's neck to bring him closer so their chests were touching now and Jace clenched his hands on Simon's waist, keeping him steady and tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. Simon's heart sped up about a million times and he was damn sure Jace could feel it but right now it didn't matter at all. What mattered was that Simon just found himself in a clichè fanfiction and he was going to have the time of his life. His right hand slid to Jace's neck and Simon ran his fingers through the short hair that was as soft as he always imagined them to be.

Simon's first kiss couldn't possibly be better.

When they eventually came up for air, Simon noticed Jace's slightly swollen lips, his pink cheeks and sparkles in his eyes that looked down at him. His blonde hair was messy because of Simon and it made him look even more adorable. And Simon was the one who made him look like that; stunned, out of breath. Now he was so far gone for the football player. Jace took a deep breath and rested his forehead on Simon's, smiling fondly.

"I like you, too, Simon," Jace stated after a while and Simon blinked twice, like he wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream.

"Yeah?" he asked hesitantly, moving his hands down to grip Jace's shirt.

"Yeah," Jace hummed happily, nudging Simon's nose with his own and if that wasn't the cutest thing in Simon's life, he didn't know what was, "Maybe 'yeah' will be our always?" he added because he clearly couldn't help himself. Simon rolled his eyes and pushed Jace away, hoping that he doesn't look too smitten and probably failing miserably.

"You're an asshole."

"That's what they told me," Jace laughed, shrugging his shoulders, "So... Can I call you my boyfriend now or do you prefer Hazel Grace, hm?"

"Don't talk to me at all. Like ever," Simon huffed with disbelief. Jace couldn't let him live even now. Sometimes he'd imagine what it would be like if they ever got together. Every scenario was way too cute so he wasn't surprised that it actually looked like this, "I can't believe I fell in love with a nerd," he mumbled, turning around to go back to the club but Jace caught his hand and pulled him closer again. Simon opened his eyes wider in surprise but when Jace kissed him, Simon almost melted in his arms. This time it was a short, sweet kiss but it still left him breathless.

"A handsome nerd," Jace chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows. Simon couldn't contain his laughter, involuntarily nodding his head. He honestly couldn't believe his luck. Jace wanted to be with him. Simon's feelings were reciprocated. He wasn't pining anymore. It didn't end up like it did with Clary, this time he actually had a shot.

This was probably the first time something worked out for him just fine.

* * *

When they finally established that Jace  **won't** call him Hazel Grace, Simon decided that it was time to look for Raphael and make sure that his friend was still alive. Jace offered to go with him and he hadn’t let go of his hand since then. Simon wasn't complaining at all, the weight of Jace's hand in his was just right and it made him feel weirdly... safe. His brain still tried to catch up with the fact that Jace actually had asked if Simon wanted to be with him. They were a couple. Like a real couple. Simon could hold his hands, kiss him, take pictures of him whenever he wanted. He’d have to thank Isabelle because if it wasn't for her, he'd probably be pining over the football player not knowing Jace felt the same way.

Saying that Raphael was drunk would be... an understatement. The Latino sat on a couch next to Magnus and Alec, who both obviously ignored his monologue, too busy looking into each others eyes. But, at least Magnus didn't leave Raphael alone which Simon was grateful for.

"I see that you, in fact, took care of your business, Sydney. It took you... forty minutes," Magnus offered, looking at his golden watch and then snickering at Simon. The dark haired boy looked down at his and Jace's intertwined hands, and he could feel himself blushing but he didn't yank his hand away. Jace even squeezed his fingers a little tighter.

"Much less than it took you in Alec's case," Jace responded amused, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, yes. Sven is my new hero," Magnus admitted merrily and he also evidently had one drink too many. Alec was the only one who looked sober.

"Clary took Isabelle home half an hour ago. Your friend seems to have enough, too. I tried to tell him that four Bloody Mary's ago but... well," Alec muttered, looking at Raphael who squinted his eyes at Jace and Simon.

"Simon,  _amigo!"_ Raphael yelled, quickly getting up and nearly falling when he tried to cross the table where the drinks were. Simon let go of Jace and caught Raphael at the last minute, holding him up while the shorter boy muttered something in Spanish.

"I'm here, buddy. And I'll never let you forget this night," Simon stated with a sadistic smile, putting Raphael's hand around his arms, "Thanks for your help, Magnus. Great party."

"My pleasure, Sebastian," Magnus waved his hand, he was already all over Alexander again. Jace burst out laughing, then he walked over to Raphael and held him from the other side, helping Simon.

"Do you want me to take both of you home?" he offered with a small smile, looking at Simon over Raphael's head with soft expression. Raph was still talking to himself and if Simon had only chose Spanish instead of French, he'd certainly have more fun now.

"I can't take Raphael to his home in this state. His mother would never let me in again and she seemed to be so nice. Did you know that Rafa has younger brothers? Of course not, even I didn't know but he has four of them. I admire his mom, honestly..."

"Simon," Jace muttered suggestively, raising one eyebrow. He should probably copyright that movement. If Raphael didn’t do it first.

"Oh, of course. You can take us to my place, if it's not a problem," Simon said, slowly walking to the exit. Raphael tripped over his own feet from time to time, resting his head on Simon's arm or nuzzling his nose in Simon's neck. He was damn adorable when drunk.

"That's not a problem at all, Hazel Grace."

"For the love of God, Wayland."

* * *

Raphael loudly fell onto Simon's bed and immediately dozed off, taking most of the space to himself. Simon sighed loudly, resting his hands on his hips and looking down at his friend, sprawled over his bed like a starfish. It was a miracle, really, that they've managed to walk Raphael through the stairs to the second floor without waking up Simon's Mom or Becky. But he had to thank Jace for that because he took most of Raphael's weight on himself. Well, they had those football practices after all, right?

"Maybe you can stay for a while, hm?" Simon asked shyly, dragging his gaze over to the blonde haired boy who smoothed his navy blue shirt. Simon loosened up his red bow-tie and yawned, stretching a little. He didn't want Jace to go but on the other hand he was nervous that Jace might actually stay because what if he already changed his mind and didn’t want to be with him after all? That was, of course, a stupid thing to think but Simon had experience in being abandoned and he couldn't help it, "We could watch a movie or something," he added quickly, nervously pushing his glasses up.

"Deadpool?" Jace suggested with a bright smile, swaying lightly on his feet. Simon was ready to ask where Jace was his whole life but luckily he stopped himself in the last minute because he'd die of embarrassment right after the words left his mouth.

Jace turned the laptop on and started to look for the movie while Simon put his comforter over Raphael (because he was the bestest friend ever, thank you very much), and took out some extra blankets and pillows from his closet to toss them to the floor next to bed so they both could lean against it. Jace sat down first, putting the laptop on his lap and when Simon sat next to him, the blonde haired boy automatically wrapped his arm around Simon, pulling him closer. It felt really good so he rested his head on Jace, looking at the screen when the movie had just begun. 

"When did you know that you... Liked me?" Simon mumbled after fifteen minutes of silence, slightly moving away to look at Jace's face. 

The student furrowed his eyebrows for a moment and then he shrugged, "Maybe around our third conversation? I guess so. It was when you got so offended because Alec said he wouldn’t waste his life watching Star Trek and you mentioned eighty three reasons as to why Alec is wasting his life if he DIDN’T watch Star Trek," Jace answered with a little sarcastic smile.

"You've been counting?" Simon gasped, feeling an unfamiliar warm sensation in his stomach. "Oh my God, it was like... Six months ago and since then you..." Simon trailed off, trying to understand this. Jace chuckled silently, looking back at the screen. Simon, on the other hand, was staring at him with a rather dumb expression, "Your taste is so wrong, man."

"Simon, shut up and let me watch," the blonde boy sighed without any trace of annoyance in his voice. He looked at Simon and rolled his eyes, pulling him close again, "Besides, my taste is quite good, Hazel Grace."

"I'm so going to kick you out of this room," Simon deadpanned, barely containing his yawn and curling up closer to Jace's body so he could feel the vibrations of his chest when Jace laughed again.

In that moment nothing could ruin their good moods.

" _Dios,_ you're both gross."

Well, maybe except for drunk Raphael.

* * *

"So... Jace has already met your mom," Clary summed up when Simon told her everything about the party during the lunch break on Monday.

"It was an accident!" Simon said defensively, trying to cover up his pink cheeks with his maths notebook.

On Saturday morning Raphael woke up so suddenly that he fell off the bed and then for almost an hour complained about a headache that was allegedly Simon's fault, and he scared Rebecca to death when he rolled out of the bedroom, practically growling about some painkillers. And that was it when it came to Simon's plan on how to discreetly sneak his guests out of his house so his mom wouldn't notice. It ended up in a breakfast during which Elaine assured Simon that she was trying to understand this whole pansexual thing but, Simon, don't you think that two boys at a time is a little bit too much? (" _Jesus, mom, nothing happened. I've just started dating one of them—hi, Jace—and if you knew Raphael, you'd understand why he isn't the one, duh."_ ) Long story short, that was the most embarrassing moment in his life and he had quite a lot of them earlier.

"And I swear, Raphael Santiago won't ever come to my house aga..."

"Hello, Lewis."

"For fuck's sake, Raphael!" Simon yelled, nearly falling off the desk when he heard the soft voice with a Spanish accent behind him. He turned around just in time to see professor Danvers who looked at him with a rather unpleasant expression, "I know, I know. Detention," he sighed resigned and Raphael had the nerve to actually laugh while sitting next to him, "I hate you so much," he muttered, fighting the urge to throw his water bottle at Raph. Instead he looked over at Clary who was smiling down at her phone.

"I know,  _amigo_. I just wanted to remind you about the football match today," Santiago answered, taking his physics book out of his backpack and shrugging his shoulders. It was something new because usually Raphael didn't spend too much time at the cafeteria and he certainly wouldn't accompany Simon then, but Simon guessed that a lot has changed after Friday night.

Seriously, A LOT. Since he woke up, Simon was stressing over meeting Jace because he had no idea how to act. Did Jace want to talk to him at school? Or maybe they should pretend that there's nothing between them? Simon wouldn't be too surprised but it didn't mean he'd be okay with it.

Apparently Jace decided to help him with that when a few minutes later he slid on the seat next to Simon, putting his food on the table and slightly brushing Simon's arm with his own. Isabelle immediately appeared next to Clary and Alec sat beside his sister with an expression that said he'd like to be literally anywhere else. The Lightwood-Wayland siblings obviously didn't care about the surprised looks from other football players and cheerleaders, caused by the fact that they haven't sat at their usual spots. Today, schools liked to think that everyone was equal but there has always been this kind of hierarchy and Simon was way lower than Jace. Not that it bothered him in any way, especially when Jace was smiling at him like that.

"You gotta help us, we need more votes," Izzy started, carelessly wrapping her arm around Clary. Simon smiled at the sight and then he suppressed a yawn. For the bigger part of the night he was studying for his French exam and he was still convinced he failed so now he didn't even have the satisfaction of a well spent night. He was just exhausted, "Alec thinks that..."

"Isabelle, must we..." Alec interrupted with a pained expression. Simon understood him almost on a spiritual level.

"We must. Alec thinks he doesn't have to give Magnus his jersey as an invitation for the winter prom and I disagree. What do you guys think?" Isabelle asked, slowly moving her gaze from Raphael to Simon, Jace and then ending with Clary who was the only one that looked like she was actually thinking about her girlfriend's question.

Inviting someone to the winter prom by giving them their jersey was a tradition for the athletes. It was really important for seniors since that was their last year and they wanted to make the best of it. Some people thought it was cute, others said it was like flaunting your "trophy". Simon wouldn't consider it that grotesque but he had to admit that lots of football players considered it that way because they gave their jerseys to every person they've slept with.

"Why would he give his jersey to Magnus? The whole school knows they'll go together. Besides, Magnus doesn't even go here so no one would see him wear it," Raphael answered first, not looking up from his book, and his voice couldn't lack interest any more.

"Thank you very much," Alec sighed with relief and for the first time he smiled lightly at the dark haired boy. Raphael nodded and Izzy snorted, clearly deciding to ignore Raphael's opinion. 

"And I agree with Izzy. Giving someone your jersey is cute," Clary stated, mindlessly doodling something in her notebook which she had on her lap. Isabelle smiled proudly, straightening her back a little as if Clary just decided for them all. 

Alec rolled his eyes so hard that Simon was afraid they'd fall into his skull, "You're blinded by your love for my sister so your opinion is irrelevant," he stated dryly but he cracked a smile when Izzy slapped his arm, "You, in glasses." Alec's tone was so annoyed that Simon looked at him surprised, making sure he was the one being spoken to as if he wasn't the only person in glasses who sat at their table, "The activist. Don't you think that by giving Magnus my jersey I'd degrade him to only my love interest? That I would objectify him in any way by giving him something that is being given to people the players slept with?" Alec asked, raising his eyebrows. He actually sounded like he was thinking about those possibilities.

Simon didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Maybe Alec was just ashamed or he thought that Magnus will misinterpret it, or think it's childish? Dating an older boy who also wants to be a fashion designer must be hard and Simon decided that for once he wanted to help Alec.

Simon felt Jace's hand slipping into his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing lightly to encourage Simon. The boy briefly looked at Jace and smiled happily.

"First of all, my name's Simon, thank you very much. Second of all, you're the last person I'd accuse of objectifying anyone. Third of all, if you ever want to marry Magnus, don't you ever listen to Raphael's advice," Simon started, ignoring Raphael's offended snort and Alec's blush, "If you don't want to give him your jersey, that's fine, you don't have to since really no one's gonna see him wear it and everyone knows you're going together. But, I think that Magnus would love if you did it. This little gesture would mean a lot more to him than to you and honestly? Bane would probably throw a party on this occasion. To... which, of course, you wouldn't be invited," Simon stated and then he couldn't suppress the yawn anymore. He lazily pushed his glasses above his nose, smiling widely. 

"Huh, why wouldn't he invite me?" Alexander asked, tilting his head to the side. Isabelle groaned, hitting her head on the table.

"Alec, it's an imaginary party, don't get offended," Jace said indulgently, rolling his eyes at his brother's awkwardness. After that, Simon basically tuned the conversation out because the sounds started to merge together and the boy couldn't tell the difference between who said what.

He must've passed out at one point because when he felt a light poke and opened his eyes, the cafeteria was empty. He was sitting next to Jace with his head rested on Jace's arm. At least this time he hadn't drooled over him and that's progress. 

"Si, are you still sleeping?" Jace asked quietly and Simon could've sworn that his heart did a backflip. 

"Mmm, nope, not anymore," he mumbled with a tired voice. He moved away and just then he noticed that Jace was still holding his hand, "Damn, sorry. You're missing your classes because of me. You could’ve just woke me up."

"But you looked like you needed to sleep," Jace stated and smiled, looking at Simon's face, "And you still do. You wanna skip the rest of our classes and go to my place? At least there I have a bed that's more comfortable than my arm," he chuckled, raising an eyebrow. Simon stretched out and looked at his watch. Third period had just started.

"Uh, I have detention today..."

"You can say you've been feeling sick and stay after school some other time," the blonde haired boy interrupted, obviously deciding for him. Jace stood up and threw his backpack over his shoulder, then he held his hand out for Simon who immediately caught it with his own. After all, the afternoon with Jace sounded better than sleeping through his classes, "Oh, and one more thing," Jace muttered, suddenly looking nervous. He led Simon through the hallway to his locker and opened it, taking his jersey with number thirteen on it, "Maybe it is a stupid tradition but... If you'd like to go to the winter prom with me then maybe—maybe you could wear it?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders and practically pushing the piece of clothing into Simon's hands.

Simon took it with surprise, feeling the soft material. He dropped his backpack on the ground and put the slightly too big jersey on his Spider-Man T-shirt, rolling up the sleeves to his elbows. When he looked at Jace again, he was watching him with a goofy smile on his face that made Simon's heart melt. He pulled Jace closer and sealed his mouth with a kiss. 

"I'd love to go to the prom with you, Augustus," he muttered when they parted.

Jace's happy expression was quickly replaced with annoyance, "I already regret it," he stated quietly, slightly pushing Simon's glasses up when they slid down his nose.

"No, you don't." Simon tilted his head to the side, squinting his eyes a little.

"No, I don't."

* * *

This match was really important, especially when the previous one got cancelled and the team couldn't gain additional points, so Simon felt bad that because of him they were playing without their captain. Jace kept telling him it was no big deal and he shouldn't worry but Simon could see how much Jace actually wanted to play.

"Lewis, twenty bucks that Bane will do it if we win tonight." Some student announced, leaning over the bleachers and pushing money into Simon's palm. The dark haired boy sighed and wrote down the strangers name in his notebook, cursing Jace for starting these stupid bets.

Apparently, he was thinking out loud again because Jace had sent a crooked smile his way, "It's not stupid, Simon. I'm making money to take you to dinner, show some enthusiasm!" he stated, taking money from Simon and putting it in the pocket of his hoodie. 

Simon snorted, "How romantic. But you know that Magnus is going to kiss Alec if they win. It's cheating," he reproached, nervously adjusting his camera and looking up at the blonde boy who sat in the first row, right before the advertising banners. Jace was wearing a white tee and his black leather jacket, his blonde hair was slightly disheveled and he looked sleepy. Maybe because both he and Simon fell asleep watching a movie and Alec woke them up before he remembered that Jace can't actually play tonight, so he told them they can go back to sleep. If it wasn't for him, Simon would oversleep and Raphael would kill him.

"But I don't know whether Alec will give him his jersey or not, so it's not exactly cheating," justified Jace, sending an innocent smile Simon's way. The photographer rolled his eyes, turning around to face the field.

At the beginning of the year, the students (read Jace and Isabelle) came up with a bet about whether Alec or Magnus will kiss the other during a football match (that could get Alec suspended and he was never even in detention, it made the bet that much funnier). Even the players from other teams participated because Jace was just really convincing. Today the bet was also about Alec officially inviting Magnus to the prom and giving him his jersey. Jace was sure that Alec will do it, Simon wasn't so convinced. But, he wasn't Alec's brother after all. Also he really wouldn't mind this dinner, so he trusted his boyfriend.

It was quite funny. Three days ago Simon was a nervous mess, trying to avoid Jace at all costs and today? Today everything seemed so natural and it made him realize that his crush on Clary was only platonic, and even if they'd somehow ended up together, Simon wouldn't feel good in such a relationship. It wasn't like he had enough time to determine whether his relationship with Jace was good. But, if you feel comfortable enough to think that having a nap together is a great date, then it couldn't be bad, right? Simon didn't need a lot and basically he always dreamed of something like that; he didn't want anything special, he just wanted to show Jace new movies and make him fall in love with them. He wanted to introduce him to new bands, he wanted to make Jace happy and he thought that this was the main reason as to why Simon took their relationship so seriously. This was his first relationship, of course. He was sure he'd mess up more than once. But right now he only wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Aye, nerd. You know that no one except for Clary knows?" Jace asked suddenly, absently taking the cord of Simon's sweatshirt and playing with it. The brunette looked up from the camera's settings and raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner, "About You-Know-What."

Simon chuckled, "I know that Alec lives under a rock but don't tell me he doesn't know Voldemort?" he teased, gaining an annoyed sigh from Jace, who leaned back. He looked nervous, so Simon smiled softly, walking closer and touching Jace's knee lightly in a way that no one else would notice. He wanted to make sure Jace knew Simon understood, "Jace, you've already met my mom and sister. Raphael, Magnus and Alec know, too. Remember?"

Jace snorted, frowning, "Magnus was drunk and Raphael doesn't like me. It doesn't count. Isabelle doesn't know. My parents. The other players from my team," he mumbled and suddenly Simon knew what this was all about. Earlier he didn't even ask about Jace's sexuality and he didn't think that Jace might be just coming to terms with who he is. Maybe Jace also had some troubles with getting used to it? Simon was such an idiot sometimes. He looked around and when he saw that the bleachers are getting crowdy, he took out his phone.

Jace furrowed his eyebrows when he felt the vibrations of his own cell. 

 **[ 6:19 PM ]** _do you want us to be like malec?_

 **[ 6:20 PM ] captain america:**   _malec ???_

 **[ 6:20 PM ]** _magnus and alec, do u want to be out? i didn't ask because i thought it was a problem. it's not for me_

 **[ 6:21 PM ] captain america:**   _uh i think im gay_

 **[ 6:22 PM ]**   _woah didnt see that one coming_

Jace lightly kicked Simon's hip which was on the height of his legs when Simon stood in front of the first row. Simon smiled reassuringly. So he was right. Jace was just figuring himself out and there was nothing wrong with that.

 **[ 6:23 PM ]** _are you sayin you're gay for me?_

"No, wait. That was rude. You can't just 'be gay' for someone, I'm sorry," Simon added quickly, keeping his voice quiet.

Jace raised his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side, "The activist, huh?"

"A feminist, thank you very much," Simon snorted, turning his attention back to his screen. They had like ten more minutes before the game started but the players were already coming out onto the field.

 **[ 6:25 PM ]** _do you want us to be official? like at school?_

 **[ 6:25 PM ] captain america:** _i_   _do want to be official and we're going to the prom together so they'll know anyway but_

 **[ 6:26 PM ]** _do you want them to know?_

 **[ 6:26 PM ] captain america:** _i_ _'m_ _not sure_

The dark haired boy looked up and smiled at Jace, shrugging his arms a little, "That's okay, Jace. We don't have to decide yet, you know? This evening is all about Magnus. He needs to be a star or he's going to complain all week." Simon sighed. He would never pressure anyone to come out because he knew how hard it is. If Jace needed more time, Simon was more than willing to give him just that.

A few seconds later Magnus flopped down on the seat next to Jace, "Kissing your boyfriend before such an important event is tiring," he stated dramatically, pulling out his small mirror and fixing his hair. The tips were pastel blue, just like his shirt tonight.

"It's a football match, not a war," Jace answered ironically. Simon had the feeling that Magnus wanted to flip him off but he decided he was better than that so he just shot him The Look. Simon wouldn't want to be on the receiving end.

In the end their team won spectacularly and Magnus ran onto the field to kiss Alec the way no one ever kissed anyone. He kissed him like Noah kissed Allie, like Mickey kissed Ian, like Even kissed Isak. But better. Also Alec gave his jersey to Magnus. Simon was too busy taking pictures to hear Jace screaming about how he won over three hundred bucks. 

"I got suspended for a week! What kind of homophobia," Alec groaned as if that was the worst thing that has happened to him. A handsome guy with perfect make-up kissed him in the middle of the field. Who wouldn't want that? Simon would never understand Alec Lightwood.

Their whole group (Simon, Jace, Alec, Magnus, Clary, Isabelle, Raphael and Lily, another editor) sat in a small booth in Taki's, waiting for their orders to arrive while squishing into the tiny space. No one was complaining though (maybe excluding Raphael but Simon sat him between himself and the wall because the Latino seemed to not mind Simon's touch that much).

"Oh, shut up, Alec. This is your first time. You've never even been into detention, you'll live!" Isabelle snorted, throwing a napkin at her brother. Alec rolled his eyes but he wrapped his arm around Magnus who looked like a cat that ate a canary. 

"How much did you earn on us, blondie?" Magnus asked, looking at Jace who was squished between Simon and Lily.

"I'm not paying for your food. I've earned this money myself. I'm paying for my own meal. And also for Simon's. And Raphael's, because Simon made me," Jace replied quickly. The others groaned at that, Raphael asked why this was happening to him and Isabelle was looking at her adopted brother with a strange expression.

"Wait, why are you paying for Simon?" she asked warily, raising one eyebrow up. Clary, who was sitting next to her and playing with her hair, leaned in and whispered something into her ear. Izzy's face brightened with understanding which made everyone at the table laugh, "Oh my God, you guys don't understand the awesomeness of this situation!" The girl screamed with excitement, reaching over the table to catch Jace's hand, "Do you remember the fight our Mom put up when she found out about Alec's sexuality? Think about what she'll do when we tell her that all of her children abandoned the idea of heterosexuality!"

"Max is her only hope," Jace chuckled. His free hand disappeared under the table and Simon felt their fingers intertwining. The dark haired boy looked over at his boyfriend, smiling when he saw Jace's happy face. Apparently being out to his closest family (and Raphael and Lily, for some reason) was enough for him and Simon was okay with it.

"I wouldn't be so happy if I were you. That is, if you like living in our home and want to stay there," Alec stated dryly. Simon remembered how Alec looked like when he came out. He was constantly tired and irritated, not that he was much different now but you could feel his stress. Seemingly, the Lightwoods weren't thrilled to find out that Alec is gay. That's why Isabelle hasn't told them about Clary yet.

"And here I thought Magnus was the drama queen," Jace murmured mischievously, making Magnus's eyebrows drive up to his hairline. 

"Excuse me, darling, but I  _am_  a drama queen. The crown is still mine," Bane snorted, resting his head back on Alec's arm.

"Jace!" Isabelle yelled suddenly, making Raphael jump a little next to Simon. When Simon noticed Izzy's cute face he thought he'd immediately agree to everything she'd ask him to do.

Apparently, Jace didn't have this problem, "Oh, no. Izzy, forget about it," he stated right away. At this moment the waitress interrupted, bringing their orders to the table. Isabelle waited for her to leave, so she could pout again and focus her gaze on her brother.

"Please. If you bring him over, Mom won't be so mad about Clary," the brunette groaned. Simon just then started to understand what was going on. Isabelle was dating Clary for a few months and on Friday's dinner, she wanted to introduce her to her family because Jocelyn and Luke (Clary's parents) already knew Izzy. Maryse was far more terrifying so Simon wasn't surprised that both girls were so stressed. But it didn't mean that Simon will let them throw him under the bus.

"Let me quote Hamlet, Act three, Scene three, verse ninety two, 'no'," Jace answered, making Simon choke on his drink and spit it out on Raphael, who practically growled at him, shooting up from his seat and hitting the table in the process. The plates jingled, Magnus' and Clary's food fell off the table, staining their clothes.

"What a mess," Lily sighed, lazily looking at her painted nails. Simon was nervously wiping Raphael's jacket with napkins, while Magnus was complaining about how they ruined the jeans he designed himself.

The evening didn't exactly go as planned.

* * *

"I can't believe they threw me out of my favorite place because of you," Jace murmured when they arrived at Simon's house an hour later. Simon closed the door behind them, putting his backpack on the floor and taking off his sweatshirt.

"Good, because it was your fault, Shakespeare," Simon snorted, making his way to the kitchen, "Becky, are you home?!" he yelled. He knew his Mom already left for work, that's why he brought Jace home. Or rather that's why he agreed to let Jace invite himself over.

"In my room! Mom left you dinner!" Rebecca yelled back.

"Are you hungry?" Simon asked, turning to face Jace who stood right behind him and made Simon step back in surprise, almost tripping over a chair. Jace caught him last minute, wrapping a strong arm around his waist to help him gain his balance. Simon swallowed, involuntarily lowering his gaze to Jace's lips when he smiled softly. 

"Yeah, I could eat. I didn't have the chance in Taki's, because of you," Jace sighed dramatically. Simon rolled his eyes, ready to remind Jace who fought the waiter and then the owner, getting them kicked out but then Jace leaned in and kissed him, effectively closing his mouth. Simon tightened his grip on Jace's green sweater and when Jace's tongue swiped over Simon's bottom lip, he parted his lips and at the same time he deepened the kiss.

Jace took a step forward, making Simon take a step back and he kept kissing him, resting one hand on Simon's neck to keep him close. He backed Simon till the other felt a kitchen counter dig into his back, then Jace effortlessly lifted the shorter boy to help him sit on top of the counter. The photographer squeaked from the sudden surprise and pulled back a little, while Jace rested his hands on Simon's knees to separate his legs and slip in between them to get even closer. His cheeks were flushed, lips slightly swollen. He breathed heavily, looking at Simon from under his long eyelashes and he was so damn beautiful.

Simon felt his heart clenching in his chest at the sight in front of him. Jace looked like an angel, with his golden hair, blue-brown eyes and high cheekbones. Simon wasn't really self-conscious when it came to his looks but even without his glasses he'd be able to notice that Jace was way out of his league. His hands moved to Jace's cheeks, fingers caressed sharp bones. Simon could hear the way Jace held his breath, sliding his hands up Simon's thighs and clenching his long fingers on black jeans.

"Aren't you the one who almost doused our waiter with water?" Simon teased, trying to gain some control over the situation and his own thoughts. He couldn't focus on anything besides the spark in Jace's eyes when the other boy looked down at his lips. They were so close, Simon could feel Jace's warm breath on his face and he was surprised to find out he wasn't uncomfortable with being this close to another person. He always thought that relationships aren't for him but he figured that with the right person it wasn't half as bad.

Jace shook his head, smiling widely, "That was Raphael," he answered after a bit of thinking. And Simon should know. It was  _Raphael,_ after all.

"Oh, right. But the fact that they kicked us out is still your fault, mister." Simon was adamant, shrugging his shoulders.

Jace wanted to say something, probably argue some more because he wouldn't be himself if he'd just give it up. But, this time it was Simon who closed the space between them, capturing Jace's lips in a sweet kiss. The blonde haired boy tried to move closer, which resulted in Simon's back digging into the spoons that were hung up on the wall behind him, but he couldn't care less right now because he could feel Jace's pulse on his neck under Simon's finger and it was as fast as his own. That meant — he had the same effect on Jace as Jace had on him and it made Simon feel a lot better. When Jace nibbled lightly at his bottom lip, Simon couldn't hold back an embarrassing moan and when Jace kissed him again, he could feel the cocky smile forming at his boyfriend's lips.

Simon would probably get offended if it wasn't for the uncomfortable tightness that grew in his jeans. He was about to tell his boner to chill when he heard a fake cough coming from somewhere behind Jace. Simon pulled back so fast that his head hit the cupboard above him, making him curse out loud. Jace burst out laughing and Simon pushed him away, rubbing the back of his head and looking at Becky who stood in the doorway with a knowing smirk. 

"Hi, Simon. Hi, Simon's boyfriend," she chirped sweetly, waving a hand at them and leaning on the door-frame.

"Hi, Simon's sister," Jace shot back blithely, opening the fridge as if he were home. The worst thing was the fact that Jace seemed to be completely unbothered by their make out session while Simon had to hide his erection somehow. It was unfair. Simon hopped off the counter and took the painkillers from the drawer. Since Colton hit him with the ball, Simon was having annoying migraines. Another thing he could thank this idiot for, "You guys have lots of vegetarian food," Jace noticed, taking out an orange juice in a bottle.

"It's Simon's," Rebecca answered, looking at the boy with amusement. After their first meeting, Simon heard enough about how handsome Jace was and how Becky had literally no idea how Simon could get himself a boyfriend like that. Their mom was also completely in love with Jace, but that shouldn't be a surprise; Jace could be really charming if he only wished to be. The blonde haired boy nodded his head, looking at Simon like he made a mental note on something, "Okay, I guess this is the time for our 'if you hurt him' talk, huh?"

Simon's head shot up while Jace handed him a glass of juice so he could swallow his pills. The brunette smiled unwillingly because Jace wasn't even looking at him, his gesture was so small, yet so nice. It made Simon happy. That was probably silly of him but oh boy, was he smitten. 

"Becky, no. If you're gonna do this, Jace will tell his brother to give me the talk and I might not survive that," Simon groaned and Jace laughed again, crossing his shoulders. It was full out laughter, the one that makes you tilt your head back and close your eyes. Simon could only look at Jace in awe. He was, indeed, lucky that he got himself a boyfriend like that.

"I'd be more scared of Izzy, though," Jace said when he finally caught his breath. 

"Gee, thanks, dude. I have two scary siblings to be afraid of. Becky, get your boyfriend to threaten Jace."

"Shut up, Simon. Jace, I'll have you know that I might find my little brother extremely annoying and his rambling about Star Wars just insufferable,  _but_ , he is still my little brother. Unfortunately the only one I have..." Becky smiled at Simon, who looked at her with raised eyebrows and an unimpressed expression. Well, she  _was_  kind of insulting him, "The point is, he gets too attached way too fast. He claims he's in love approximately six times a day because he's just an idiot that too often chooses to ignore people's flaws just because they're important to him."

"Are you insulting Raphael now?" Simon tried to joke to lighten the suddenly too serious mood but Rebecca just glared at him and that shut him up pretty quick. Besides, Jace was actually so focused on her words, it made Simon feel weird because, well, they were talking about him. And yeah, maybe Becky was right but did Jace have to know that? Nope, not at all.

"But I can tell when my brother really is into someone and he wasn't this smitten since Clary. Thank God that phase is over, though. Anyways, you're important to him, Jonathan Wayland-Lightwood-whatever. I don't know why because honestly, you look like those assholes from cliche high school movies Simon likes to watch, but Simon chose you. Don't think it's the other way round, just because you're pretty. So if you only think about a one night stand..." Rebecca continued and Simon could only wish for the earth to swallow him right now. This couldn't possibly get more embarrassing and here he was, thinking he was the worst one from their little family. He was  _so_ wrong. Of course, he gave Becky's boyfriend the talk too but damn, she took this to another level.

Jace actually laughed at that, stepping closer to Simon's chair, "Well, damn, girl. Here I thought about dating the hell out of your brother and you're telling me he's into this 'one night stand' thing? That's a bummer," he sighed dramatically, resting his hand on Simon's shoulder. The shorter boy snorted, looking up at his boyfriend.

Becky rolled her eyes, resting hands on her hips. She looked exactly like Elaine, it was kind of scary, "You're both such dorks, I swear to God. I'm serious, Wayland. If you hurt him, I'm gonna go full Wonderland on your ass," she warned him and Jace actually scrunched up his nose at that. He must've known what that meant.

"I'm sure Clary and Raphael will help you," Jace said after a bit of silence, "But I don't think that will be necessary. I have no intentions in hurting Simon, believe me. That might sound weird to you, but I kind of like his rambling about Star Wars. And his face. Yeah, his face too."

"Oh my God, you're just as smitten as he is. That's good, I guess. Weird, but good." Rebecca smiled at her brother who ducked his head with a pink blush on his cheeks. She seemed content with Jace's answer and left them to go back to watching some science documenty for her classes.

Simon and Jace forgot all about food when they went to Simon's room. They were laying on his bed,  _Cough Syrup_ by Young The Giant softly humming in the background. Jace was playing with Simon's fingers, with Simon's head rested on his broad chest. It was warm, comfy and nice. It felt safe, which was weird because Simon wasn't particularly scared of anything but that's how Jace made him feel, safe.

"I'm sorry about Becky. She's just... uh, she's really protective. But she wasn't serious with this whole Wonderland thing, you know?" Simon laughed quietly, feeling the vibrations of Jace's chest when he chuckled too.

"Yeah, I know. And I get it, really. I actually gave Magnus this talk and I was planning on doing the same with Clary but I think Alec will outrun me." Jace hugged Simon tighter to his side, stroking Simon's back gently. Simon laughed at that. He could totally imagine Jace giving Magnus the protective brother talk. Magnus probably laughed it off while actually taking Jace's words to heart. Somehow Simon doubted that Magnus would ever intentionally hurt Alec. 

"Wait, Clary doesn't have siblings. Should  _I_ give Izzy the talk? I definitely should, right?" Simon lifted himself on his elbow, looking down at Jace who was smiling softly. This Jace was so different from the Jace he saw on the field only a few weeks ago. The other Jace was always cocky and so sure of himself, the one in front of him was almost... vulnerable. And to think that he was the one who got the chance to see this side of Jace. It was amazing.

Jace brushed his cheek with his fingers, moving them to Simon's hair and pulling him down for another kiss. This time it was different though. It wasn't rough or heated. It was soft and sweet, it was all Jace. Simon moved up a little to have a better angle and closed his eyes, trying to ignore how his glasses started to slide down his nose. Jace's right arm was wrapped tightly around his waist, securing him in place, while Simon's hand rested on the crook of Jace's neck, feeling the warm skin under his fingertips. Simon hooked his leg around Jace's thighs so he was now straddling the other boy, not breaking the kiss. Jace put his hands on Simon's hips, moving his shirt up just an inch to caress his skin and send shivers down Simon's spine.

Eventually they had to come up for air. Simon moved his lips to Jace's jaw and down to his neck, leaving soft kisses along the way to finally suck a hickey right above his collarbone. The beautiful sound that came from Jace told Simon that he found the other boy's soft spot, which made him smile.

Simon pulled away just enough to see Jace's flushed face. His cheeks were rosy pink, eyes glimmered under the long thick eyelashes and his golden hair were falling softly on his forehead. 

"Don't move," Simon muttered, quickly reaching to his bedside cabinet. He took out his Polaroid and looked back at Jace who was now smirking lazily with one hand behind his head.

"See something you like?" Jace asked like the cocky asshole he was. Simon just flipped him off before taking a quick candid when Jace burst out laughing. He warmed up the photo and put it on the pillow next to Jace's head.

"Remember to smile." Simon bit his lower lip, trying to take another photo. He didn't care that it might be weird. Jace was just gorgeous and he deserved to be reminded, even if he already knew. But before he could snap a picture, Jace snatched the small camera from his hands, sitting up and watching it warily. 

"Remember to smile," Jace repeated with a small smile playing on his lips. Simon sat cross-legged, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend who tried to figure out how the camera works, "Do you know that it was the first thing you've ever said to me? Yeah," he added, seeing Simon's surprised face. The brunette clearly didn't remember. So many things came out of his mouth at such short period of time that he couldn't possibly remember everything. "It was the first day of high school, almost three years ago. I think you wanted to take a picture of Isabelle but we were all together. Me, Alec, our other friends. You told Izzy it's for school and she loves the attention so of course she agreed. I hated this, though. I've never been a huge fan of pictures and I think you saw this because you looked at me with this funny face you sometimes make, and you were like 'remember to smile, I want this to look good'. I can't remember if I did smile." The boy shrugged his shoulders and Simon smiled. It was very possible that he was in awe when he saw Isabelle for the first time. But right now he was surprised that he didn't actually remember this because damn, had he really been this confident during his junior year?

Jace turned the Polaroid around so now he could take a picture of Simon. Despite being a photographer and all around lover of photography, Simon hated when he was the one being photographed. He always thought that there are more interesting things to capture and he was just... so ordinary. His hair didn't catch the rays of sunshine that made them look like they were glowing the way Jace's hair did. His hair was brown, his eyes were brown. Boring, boring, boring.

"Hey, look at me," Jace asked, gently catching Simon's chin with his free hand and raising his head a little. "What is it?" He sounded concerned so he must've seen Simon's hesitation. The shorter boy shrugged noncommittally, fidgeting.

"Nothing, just—my face is stupid, I don't like pictures," he sighed and Jace chuckled but he still didn't put the camera down.

"I happen to like your stupid face a lot so shut up and let me take a picture, Simon Lewis."

And so he did. It wasn't even that bad because then Jace pulled him close and kissed him for 'being so brave'.

Every kiss was like the first with Jace. Simon's heart was ready to jump out of his chest right into Jace's hands. Maybe Becky was right. Maybe Simon did get too attached way too fast and maybe he'll burn himself because of it. He was scared of how much he already cared about Jace. But, somehow it felt good. Right. Like maybe they were supposed to be together right now. Even if it was just for a little while.

* * *

Simon knew this was a bad idea. He knew this just couldn't end well. What he didn't know though, was how he even ended up at the Lightwood family dinner with Isabelle, Clary, Jace, Alec, Max and their parents. Well, okay, maybe Isabelle did mention something about how she panicked and ended up telling her mother that Clary will come with her best friend but did she really say his name? He thought they agreed on 'not throwing Simon under the bus'. Apparently not. So here he was, sitting between Jace and Alec with Clary, Isabelle and Max on the opposite side. Maryse and Robert sat at the ends of the big table. It was awkward enough with Simon having to pretend Jace doesn't mean a thing to him because tonight was all about Izzy and Clary, but when the dark haired girl actually started the topic, it got even more uncomfortable and even Simon's rambling couldn't save this dinner.

"Here, you can eat this," Jace whispered, while Max was entertaining people at the table with talking about something school-related. Jace pushed one plate towards Simon who, in all honesty, was too stressed to even touch food, "I told my mom you're a vegetarian so she made something for you too." Jace smiled almost sheepishly and Simon fought the urge to kiss him then and there. It was so thoughtful and just... just nice.

"Mom, dad. There's actually a reason for Clary being here tonight and I wanted to tell you both something," Isabelle started, nervously looking from Maryse to Robert and back. Simon thought that there was apparently no reason for him being there tonight so maybe he could just disappear and no one would notice? His idea was crushed when he felt Jace's hand slipping into his own under the table. Damn him, "I'm dating Clary. As in... she's my girlfriend. As in, I'm a lesbian."

The dead silence that followed this confession was terrifying. It was almost as if every person around the table decided to hold their breaths and stop dead in their tracks. Simon nervously swallowed and looked at Maryse who sat there with the fork halfway up to her mouth. Isabelle stubbornly kept her gaze down on her plate, Clary was fidgeting, Max must've sensed that something is wrong because he was quiet too.

"Is it okay if I just..." Simon started quietly, leaning slightly to Alec who just kicked him under the table, making Simon jump, "What the—hey, this dinner is truly delicious!"

Maryse slowly put the fork down and cleared her throat, "So... First Alec and now you? Is this some kind of... rebellion?"

"This has nothing to do with me," Alec said firmly, looking at his mother. Simon looked over at Clary. Her cheeks were bright red, head ducked, lips pursed into a thin line. She was clearly upset because she really thought this would go better. Jocelyn and Luke were being so kind to Isabelle. Simon knew Clary deserved that, too. 

"Oh, really? You're her brother, you were the first one telling us you're gay. And you're telling me that Isabelle having a—a  _girlfriend_  has nothing to do with you?" The woman asked, slowly raising her voice. Max slumped in his chair and Izzy looked like she was slapped. The way Maryse said 'girlfriend'. Like it was something disgusting. Simon felt the anger starting to build up in him. Jace must've felt it too because he squeezed Simon's hand a little tighter, as if to tell him that he should not get involved. But how could he just sit quiet when his best friend was being insulted like that?

"Excuse me, but are you saying that homosexuality is contagious? Because if yes, then no one here is safe," Simon chimed in, ignoring Alec's 'oh my god' and Jace's choked laughter. Maryse blinked twice, looking at Simon as if he had two heads, "I don't think that's the case, though, because Clary is not gay. She's pansexual, actually." Simon glanced at his best friend who finally looked up and offered him a grateful smile. Yes, Maryse Lightwood was a scary woman, but if there was one thing Simon would do for his friends, it was protecting them and that's what he is doing. 

"What's the difference? She has a girlfriend, that makes her a lesbian." That was the first thing Robert Lightwood said since the beginning of this dinner. 

Simon frowned at that, "With all due respect, Sir, that's not true. If Clary identifies herself as pansexual, having a girlfriend doesn't change anything."

"That doesn't matter! I have tried to tolerate this when it came to Alec. But, Isabelle, this is ridiculous and you have to end this right now. This... this phase or whatever it is." Maryse was practically yelling now, "One queer kid in a family is enough."

"One? Oh, lady..." Simon muttered but Alec kicked him again, shutting him up.

"Mom, this is not a phase. I  _love_ Clary, I want to be with her, can't you just—" Isabelle tried one more time. Clary's eyes widened and Simon figured out that this was the first time Izzy said she loves her. Well, maybe it wasn't the best way but she still did. The redhead looked like she might cry any minute now and Simon's heart was breaking for her.

"Love? Don't be silly, Isabelle. You're too young to even know what that means. You can't have that with... with this girl." Maryse wouldn't even look at Clary and Simon has had enough. He stood up, harshly moving his chair. He looked down at Jace, who was watching him warily, like he wasn't sure what Simon will do.

"Sorry, Jace, but I won't listen to this," Simon whispered and then he turned to Maryse, "Don't preach to her about love when  _you_ don't know what it means. It means accepting your loved ones as they are. It means listening to them and being there for them whenever they need you. Love is making sure they feel comfortable with sharing everything with you, that includes their sexuality. Maybe you're right, maybe Isabelle's relationship with Clary is just a phase, but so what? Izzy is figuring herself out, we all are. Maybe tomorrow she'll decide she's not a lesbian but rather a bisexual? Or even asexual? And there's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong, though, is your whole attitude, Mrs Lightwood. Not only towards Alec and Isabelle, but also towards Clary. If you can't accept your kids, at least pretend that you're not disgusted with them or their partners." Simon paused to take a breath but even then no one has said anything. Maryse was just looking at him, stunned. Simon felt kind of bad because he didn't mean to go off like that but he just couldn't stand the look on Clary's face. He loved her too much, "Clary, we're leaving."

The short girl immediately stood up and took Isabelle's hand to take her with them. What surprised Simon, though, was the fact that Alec stood up, too.

"I've never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Simon. Either you will apologize to Isabelle or you won't see us under this roof again."

And that's how they all ended up in Simon's van five minutes later. Alec, Isabelle and Clary sat in the back, while Simon and Jace took places in front.

"I'm sorry for ruining the dinner," Simon said sincerely, taking Jace's hand in his and playing with his fingers.

The blonde boy gave him a small smile, shrugging his shoulders, "It wasn't your fault. I knew it wouldn’t end well. I guess I should thank you for standing up for Izzy. I know you did this mostly for Clary, but honestly? It felt like you stood up for all of us."

"I kind of did. At least I wanted to. I just—the way your Mom looked at Clary..."

"I know. It was the same with Alec and Magnus," Jace mumbled and then he looked down, biting his bottom lip. Simon waited because he knew Jace wanted to say something but he needed time to get it out, "For a second I thought... When you told me 'sorry', I thought that you... That you might want to tell Maryse about... you know, us."

Simon's eyes widened as he looked at Jace, "Oh my God, no, no, no! I would never—listen to me, Jace," he said firmly, taking Jace's face in his hands and gently raising it up so the boy would look at him, "Outing someone is never okay and I know that. I would never do something like that to anyone, especially when I know how your parents feel about this. I have no right to do that and I won't. I want you to know this, okay?"

"Okay," Jace said quietly. Simon sighed with relief, pulling Jace closer to press a gentle kiss to his lips. It was moments like this that made Simon notice how Jace's sarcastic behavior was just a facade he put on to distance himself from other people. Under this exterior there was a boy who needed someone that would just understand him and let him be himself.

Simon wanted to be that someone.

* * *

It has been six months since Jace and Simon started dating. A lot of things happened during this time, the most remarkable being the winter prom and Jace's coming out. It happened when Jace was announced the king of this year's prom, as his queen people chose Camille Belcourt, the second most important cheerleader (right after Isabelle). That was so predictable, Simon wasn't even surprised. But then Jace went on the stage and straight up told people that 'he's honored but his boyfriend probably wouldn't be too happy if he chose another queen'. He might have been a little drunk back then but he still didn't regret a single thing and ended up giving his crown to Alec (only because Magnus  _insisted_ that he's going to be the queen). 

Simon still couldn't believe he was in an actual relationship with Jace Wayland-Lightwood-whatever and it lasted for so long. He was happier than ever, even though people at school kept calling them all "The Rainbow Squad" because no one in their group was straight (Raphael came out to Simon as asexual and aromantic gay but no one else knew about this, clearly the fact that he was friends with The Gays — this being Simon, Jace, Clary, Izzy, Alec and Magnus — was enough to consider him not-straight). If Simon could only go back in time and tell twelve-year-old Simon that one day he was going to have an amazing boyfriend and annoying but cute group of friends, he would totally do that.

But, of course nothing in his life could be just that easy, he should've known better.

It started with a nightmare. Simon was having those quite often, actually, but not when he was sleeping with Jace. Not  _sleeping_ sleeping, just simply laying together in one bed, usually in Simon's bedroom. Jace seemed to like having Simon close, he would always wrap his arms around the shorter boy, being the big spoon (when Jace was upset, though, it was Simon who held him, not the other way round) and Simon didn't mind a bit. The feeling of Jace's steady heartbeat on his back was enough to calm him down and help him fall asleep. Not this time, unfortunately.

Simon was really stressed lately. Their senior year was coming to an end and he still had no idea what to do. His Mom wanted him to study accounting, Simon wanted to pursue either his music or photography career. For three months now he was actually in a band called Rock Solid Panda (it could do some work but it was their best name so far) along with Maureen Brown (keyboard; she also came along with her girlfriend, Maia Roberts, a spiteful bartender working in Jade Wolf, who seemed to have a problem with Jace, their constant bickering was similar to Simon and Raphael's though, so they were good) and Eric Hillchurch (drums). Simon played the bass and was their singer-songwriter. He loved doing this even when Raphael stood in the front row just to mock Simon (Simon knew Raphael secretly loves his band, he saw their poster hidden in his bedroom so shame on Raphael). But his Mom didn't really approve of any of his passions, she said he can't really make a living out of playing in a band or taking pictures. He strongly disagreed but her opinion was still important to him. So yeah, he was pretty stressed. 

Probably that, mixed with the little amount of sleep he was getting, caused the nightmares to act up. Simon dreamed of his father again. It might be weird, but Simon had good memories with this man. He loved his family, at least at some point, Simon was sure of that. He still didn't know why his Dad left them and he wasn't trying to justify it because he saw how hurt his Mom was, but he couldn't find it in him to hate that man. Simon blamed him for his abandonment issues, though. When his father left after showing him so much love, Simon grew up to think that everyone will eventually leave. In his dreams Dad was leaving him over and over again, sometimes taking Mom and Becky with him, sometimes leaving them all behind. Simon knew it was silly, he was eighteen and he should overcome this stupid idea of being alone for the rest of his life when he had Elaine, Rebecca, Clary. Even Jocelyn and Luke who were like his second parents. And now he also had Jace so everything should be better, right?

The thing is, it wasn't. Simon was simply scared that those people will see how annoying he really is. They will get tired of him and one day they'll realize he's not good enough. So now, in his dream, it wasn't only his father who left him. He saw Clary, Becky. Even Raphael, for God's sake. And then, there was Jace. Laughing at him, because how could Simon ever think he would choose him of all people to date him?

"Simon."

It was Jace's voice. He was mocking him.

"Simon? Wake up, sleepyhead."

 _Wait_. Why would Jace sound so concerned if he wanted to leave Simon? The dark haired boy felt a nudge and he slowly blinked his eyes, trying to adjust his vision to the darkness that surrounded him. Finally, he could see Jace's face, full of worry.

"It was just a dream. Everything's fine," Jace said softly, brushing some curls from Simon's sweaty forehead, "You're fine, Simon. Just breathe."

Jace wrapped his arms around Simon, bringing him closer to his chest and kissing his neck. Simon closed his eyes again, trying to regain the control of his breathing. His body was shivering but Jace held him in a tight grip, trying to comfort him. And it worked. Simon felt that his heart started to slow down and he knew it was just a dream. Jace was still here. Just like Clary, Becky and Raphael. They weren't going anywhere.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jace asked. It was the first time he witnessed Simon having a nightmare, Simon had never even mentioned this to Jace and he wasn't so sure he wanted to do this now. It was stupid, really. He knew this, he  _knew_. So why did it hurt every time?

"No," he said stubbornly, keeping his eyes closed.

"Simon..."

"Do you think you'll leave me anytime soon?" Simon could feel Jace's body tense behind him. 

That was random, Simon was aware of it. They've never even told each other 'I love you' and even though Simon already knew he was in too deep, he wasn't quite sure if Jace felt the same way so he didn't want to scare him by confessing his feelings. After all, this was his first relationship. When was the right time to say those words? Was there even the right time? This was so confusing, damn it.

"Why would you ask that?" Jace mumbled into Simon's skin, nuzzling his nose into the other boys neck. Simon smiled lightly, cuddling more into Jace's chest. He loved how comfortable Jace was around him. It took him a few months to get Jace to open up like that, to show his soft side without thinking that Simon would judge him for it, "I'm not planning on leaving you, Simon. I want to be here for as long as you want me."

Simon swallowed the lump in his throat, biting his bottom lip a little. He turned around in Jace's arms to face him, their noses were almost touching and Simon could feel Jace's warm breath on his face. The blonde boy smelled like cinnamon and apples, it was Simon's favorite scent now, "You promise?" Simon asked childishly, curling his fingers into Jace's blue t-shirt.

Jace smiled fondly, nodding his head, "I promise," he said and then pressed his lips to Simon's forehead for a few seconds. Simon closed his eyes, breathing in Jace's scent. He believed him. He wanted to believe because it seemed just that simple. 

* * *

But Jace broke his promise two weeks later on graduation day.

"Simon, can I talk to you?" he asked, pulling Simon to the side. They all sat at the booth in Jade Wolf. Maia was behind the bar, Luke (he was the owner) was hanging out with them and congratulating every single one of the students that stepped in his diner. He acted like the proud Dad of every single person that was there and his dad jokes were endless. Clary seemed to be embarrassed by her stepdad but Simon loved every second of it.

"Yeah, sure," Simon answered, smiling cheerily at his boyfriend.

Their friends were in the middle of a conversation about their plans for the future. Magnus wanted to be a famous designer (he said something about how he respected Kanye West but he would  _never_ show up in his new clothing line, mainly because it didn't contain glitter, "I mean, who does that?"), Alec wanted to open an archery school, Clary wanted to be an artist, Isabelle said that she can be Clary's manager, Raphael told them to fuck off because it's none of their business. 

Simon slid out of the booth and walked with Jace until they were outside. Jace stopped then and turned to look at Simon. His expression was quite serious and it already made Simon nervous. 

"First of all, I want you to know that I'm really sorry, Simon. I've been thinking about this for some time and when we started dating... I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. And then I promised you I wouldn't leave. Fuck, I'm really, really sorry. You have to believe me," Jace said quickly, looking straight into Simon's chocolate eyes. The shorter boy frowned, the strange feeling in his stomach was getting bigger but he had no idea what Jace was talking about.

"Jace, you're kind of freaking me out so if you could just—"

"I'm leaving," Jace blurted out, averting his gaze to the ground. Simon furrowed his eyebrows, fidgeting a little and trying to understand what Jace was saying.

"What... What do you mean? You want to go home? We can tell the rest..."

Jace shook his head, looking at Simon from under his eyelashes, "I'm  _leaving._ School's over and I have plans. I mean... I want to be a doctor, you know? But the thing is... Robert has a friend in London who could help me get an internship at the hospital during my studies."

"During your studies... in London?" Simon asked quietly when the realization dawned on him, "This isn't something you came up with last night. When did you decide you wanted to leave?"

The blonde haired boy swallowed and ran a hand through his light strands, messing them up. He looked pained, as if he was begging Simon to understand without actually saying it out loud, "Almost two years ago," he admitted, ducking his head in guilt. Simon crossed his arms, pacing around the sidewalk. Jace reached out to touch him but Simon swatted his hand away, hugging himself tighter. He could feel the anxiety building up and he didn't want Jace to see.

"So when you promised me—"

"Simon..."

" _When you promised me,_ " Simon continued harshly, refusing to look at the other boy, "that you won't leave me anytime soon... You knew you would have to do this, right? And you promised anyway?"

He couldn't believe how stupid he was. Of course Jace would leave him, just like everyone else eventually will. Simon wasn't anything special, he didn't even know what to do with himself now. Jace had plans, big plans. He had ambitions and his future figured out. Who was Simon to try and stop him? Just... no one has ever told him it would hurt so much to let go of someone who was this important.

"I'm so sorry, Si. I really am," Jace whispered. Simon shrugged his shoulders. 

"It doesn't mean anything, though, does it?" He laughed sarcastically and then sighed, looking up at the sky. He hated New York mainly because you could never see the stars here and he knew they were there. That was the only constant thing in his life, it seemed, the stars were always there even if you couldn't see them. Jace opened his mouth to say something but Simon stopped him, "Save it, Jace. It's okay, I understand. Can you tell the others that I went home? Thanks."

Simon turned around and quickly made his way as far as possible from Jace. He was glad that Jace didn't try to stop him, he needed time to think about this. Jace was thinking about this for almost two years and he didn't think it was okay to let Simon know. But what hurt the most was the fact that Jace promised him. Jace knew about his father, he knew about Simon's issues and yet he led him on, letting him believe that what they had was something that will last. Simon didn't want to be mad, Jace's future was important and he knew he can't expect Jace to choose him over everything else, that wasn't the case. Jace lied, that's what this was about. And Simon felt betrayed, naive, stupid. It was always supposed to be like this, wasn't it? Simon Lewis, the boy left behind.

'What if I don't want you to leave?' he wanted to ask Jace, 'What if I love you?'

He never asked that.

* * *

When Raphael entered his bedroom the next day, Simon was curled up under his covers. The curtains were drawn, drowning the room in darkness, but the Latino could see his friends frame. Simon tried to become as small as possible. Raphael sighed, walking over to the bed and seeing some polaroids shred to pieces. He could immediately tell they were of Jace so he took them to Simon's table and spent the next fifteen minutes, quietly fixing them with duct tape because he knew Simon didn't want to actually destroy them. He was just mad.

"What're you doin'?" Simon asked quietly, his voice was hoarse like he had been crying for some time now. Raphael turned around to see Simon's head, his dark brown hair was a mess of curls, his chocolate eyes were puffy and red. 

"Thinking about the best way to painfully kill Jace Wayland," he answered, picking up the pictures and walking to the bed. He sat on the edge, handing the small photos to Simon who cautiously took them from Raphael and looked at them. His eyes began to fill with tears again and Raphael hated it. He was never good with emotional people, he never knew whether to pat their head or tell them to get their shit together. But this was Simon, possibly Raphael's only friend, however terrifying it sounds, "Do you want to, uh—do you want hot cocoa? Or a really strong drink?" He asked awkwardly and Simon actually chuckled at that, looking up at Raphael.

"Can I hug you?" Simon sounded so small and broken. That was the only reason why Raphael didn't flinch at his proposition. He sighed heavily, opening his arms. Simon beamed at him, kicking the covers down and wrapping his arms around Raphael. He buried his head in Raphael's neck and the other boy held him tightly, patting his back.

Simon didn't know how long they sat there in silence. His head hurt from all the crying and he was just tired. His phone had been buzzing all night with messages from Jace, Clary, Isabelle and even Magnus, but Simon never picked it up to let anyone know he was alive. Right now he just needed some space. He was glad that Raphael was here, he didn't expect anyone to check on him, especially not Raphael, but it was nice.

He was about to thank the boy, when the door to his bedroom swung open, revealing a very pissed Clary.

"I'm going to kill him," she announced fiercely, throwing her bag on the floor and going over to the bed. Raphael wanted to move but Simon only clung stronger to his jacket, so the dark haired boy sighed and looked at Clary with an annoyed expression that said 'take this away from me'. She just laughed at him, this bitch.

"I've already offered that, thank you very much," Raphael said, rolling his eyes.

Simon snorted, finally letting go of Raphael. The Latino quickly moved away to sit on the chair, just to make sure Simon couldn’t reach him. One hug was enough... for the rest of his life, really.

"I don't want Jace dead," Simon said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. 

"Okay," Raphael said slowly, "Do you want me to at least punch him in the face for you?"

"Raphael, no! That's not how you treat people, we really need to work on your social skills, man." Simon sighed, taking the polaroids Raphael fixed. Those were from the night Jace told Simon the first thing he said to him. Jace was laughing and he looked so beautiful. Simon hated his stupid pretty face. 

"Okay, so we're not punching Jace. But he behaved pretty shitty," Clary noted, sitting on the edge of Simon's bed and looking at her best friend. Simon smiled weakly, shrugging his shoulders.

"He wants to be a doctor, I don't want to be the one to stop him."

That was true. Simon cared about Jace too much and he knew how people always told Jace who he can or can't be. He was the most popular guy at school and people expected him to be the quarterback, to be the prom king, to be everything they wanted him to be. Simon wanted Jace to be whoever  _Jace_ wanted to be. It didn't matter if Simon will be with him or not, as long as Jace was happy. And this is exactly what Simon told Jace few hours later when he was standing at Jace's doorstep.

"I don't want to lose you just because I'm an asshole with issues that aren't your fault. So if you think that this, us, can work out even with you in London and me being stuck in here, then—" Simon couldn't finish because Jace yanked him forward to crush their lips together. Simon made a humming noise, wrapping his arms around Jace's neck to pull him even closer. Jace licked over Simon's bottom lip, asking for entrance and Simon quickly granted it, opening his mouth. The kiss was hard, desperate even. It said that they needed each other better than their words could ever express. Simon ran his hand through Jace's soft hair, returning the kiss with the whole passion he had in him. When they eventually came up for air, Simon couldn't help himself. "I love you," he whispered, looking at Jace's flushed face. His eyes widened when he realized he said that out loud and he got scared whether it was too much, too soon. But then Jace smiled, his soft, beautiful smile, and cupped Simon's face in his cold hands.

"I know," he answered, raising an eyebrow at his shorter boyfriend.

Simon gasped. "Did you just quote Star Wars at me?"

"Maybe I did," Jace chuckled, kissing Simon's nose.

"Marry me."

"Well, hey, maybe buy a man a nice ring first, huh?"

"Did Simon just propose to you?!" Isabelle yelled from somewhere behind Jace.

"Simon did what to who?!" Alec screamed back at his sister and Simon burst out laughing when Jace's cheeks became bright red.

"No, Jimon can't get married before Clizzy. I'm not going to lose this bet!" That was Magnus.

"I can't believe this is my life," Jace muttered, hugging Simon and hiding his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck.

Simon could believe that this was his life though. And he loved every second of it.

* * *

Jace had to leave one month later and Simon wasn't crying at the airport. At all.

" _Dios,_ Simon, wipe those tears," Raphael muttered horrified, looking around to see if anyone saw him being embarrassed by his friend.

"Fuck you too, Raphael, I'm not crying." Simon sniffed, walking behind Jace, Isabelle and Alec. They were all happily chattering about London, Jace promised to buy Izzy some nice clothes. How disgusting.

"Calm down, Suzanne. Jace is not leaving for good. He'll come back to you," Magnus said, wrapping an arm around Simon to cheer him up.

Raphael snickered, "They will probably kick him out in a week or so."

"I heard that!" Jace shouted, flipping Raphael off without turning around.

Jace's plane was leaving in fifteen minutes so they had to say their goodbyes. Jace gave a hug to everyone except for Raphael, who said 'don't even think about it', so they just shook hands. It was Simon's turn but he wasn't even close to ready. Magnus was right, Jace wasn't leaving for good. But six years is a long time and he had no idea when they would see each other next. Will Jace come back for Christmas? Or holidays? Will he want to come back at all? Maybe he'll find better people in London?

"You're overthinking again, stop that," Jace frowned, putting his bag down and wrapping arms around Simon's waist. Their friends left to give them some privacy. Simon sniffed again, looking down at their shoes, "I'm going to call you first thing when I land, okay? And then we can Skype whenever you want. You can call or text me anytime. We'll make it work. We will, Simon. Trust me."

Simon nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile. Everything was fine, Jace was just making his dream come true. He was happy, it was all that mattered.

"I know. But what if the plane crashes? You're not a doctor yet so you can’t help yourself. Because you'll be dead. It happens, you know? It's not like I'm making this up—"

"Simon, for the love of God, shut up. I love you, so much. But Shut. The. Hell. Up." Jace sighed, resting their foreheads together and he closed his eyes, just holding Simon close. Simon could feel Jace's heartbeat under his hand and he wanted to memorize its rhythm, because he had no idea when he'll be able to feel this again. It was quick but steady, loud and firm. It was all Jace. 

"I love you, too. You know that?" Simon asked quietly, looking at Jace's pink lips. He did. He loved that boy so much sometimes it hurt, but it was the good kind of hurt. The kind that people chase after because it gave them this amazing feeling in their chest. Simon's love for Jace felt like stardust in his veins, sometimes it made it hard to breathe but most of the time it filled Simon with light and happiness, "I love you, Jace Wayland-Lightwood-whatever."

"Don't call me that, you asshole." Jace chuckled, leaning in to press his lips to Simon's. He gently moved his lips against his boyfriend's, holding him tightly for the last time. Just to remember how perfectly Simon fit in his arms. To remind himself that the distance couldn't part them, nothing could. He knew he will feel Simon with him the whole time in London and he will come back, loving the same boy more than ever.

Because New York wasn't really his home and London wouldn't be it either. Home was here, right now. Home was Simon.

When they announced that Jace's plane will depart in ten minutes, they pulled away. Jace kissed Simon quickly one last time, then he took his bag and started to walk away. Simon reached for his camera and raised it to his eyes.

"Jace!" he yelled and when Jace turned around, he took one more picture. "Remember to smile!"

And then Jace was gone in the crowd of people. But that wasn't the end, Simon knew this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Dios_ \- God  
>  _Amigo_ \- friend  
>  _Gracias_ \- thank you  
>  _Mamá_ \- mom  
>  _Idiota_ \- idiot


	2. after.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happened after Jace had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this time i've added jace's pov because why not. it's a lot shorter than the first chapter and the ending is a bit rushed, i'm sorry about that. but i hope you like it, because i do. it's just so much fluff i can't believe this.  
> note: i don't really know much about american weddings so just bear with me  
> also it's not beta'd so let me know if there are any mistakes !!  
> feel free to hit me up with asks or prompts on my tumblr [ here ! ](http://malfoyst.tumblr.com/)

"Alec, don't panic, but I'm at the hospital."

"Jace, you've been having this internship at the hospital for six months now, stop starting every damn conversation with this." Jace could hear the annoyance in his brother's voice and he was sure that Alec is rolling his eyes right now. Of course, Jace had no intentions in starting his conversation in any other way and he didn't understand why all doctors didn't use this line, wasting such a great opportunity. Simon was the only one that could appreciate Jace's genius.

God, how he missed Simon. It was almost a year and a half since they last saw each other because they were both too busy with their careers to meet. If Simon was free, Jace had exams and if Jace was free, Simon had photo shoots in Paris or Madrid. As if Magnus couldn't do another fashion show in London. He did it once and Simon had spent almost all his time in Jace's small apartament on Bloomsbury Street, but it was two years ago. 

For almost four years now they've been trying to keep this distance relationship and even though it wasn't easy neither wanted to quit. They have tried that once and succeeded for two months, then Magnus was so upset with Simon's behavior (apparently quiet Simon was worse than rambling Simon) that he personally flew to London with him so he could make amends with Jace. They just couldn't be without each other, so they've stopped trying and just focused on Skype, phone calls and short meetings (they usually spent Christmas together).

Simon was a photographer now (his mom finally accepted the fact that Simon sucks at maths), famous mostly from the fact that he refused to photograph Gigi Hadid because of her racist behavior. Simon was busy with Magnus's fashion shows or Prides. He had lots of work and Jace hoped he doesn't feel as lonely as Jace did during his studies. Jace was one of the best students at medical school and he guessed this is the only good thing.

"You're boring as always, Lightwood," Jace said, throwing another shirt into his open suitcase.

"That's why my record's clean, Wayland," Alec shot back. Jace rolled his eyes, plopping down onto the bed. One time. Only one time Jace had ended up in the arrest and it was Simon and Magnus's fault, not his. These two became weirdly close since they've started working together, despite the fact that Magnus still has not even once used Simon's actual name. Alec wasn't too happy when he had to bail the three of them out at two in the morning and even his boyfriend's puppy eyes couldn't change a thing. "Have you talked to Simon yet?"

"Yep, he's pissed," Jace hummed, waving at his roommate, Meliorn, who was walking by in the hallway. "Make sure Clary doesn't tell him anything, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Isabelle is pissed, too, that you're doing this on her wedding day because she wanted to be a star," Alec laughed.

Isabelle and Clary's wedding was what everyone expected but they were still extremely happy for the two. Izzy proposed almost a year ago, she also didn't miss a beat while reminding everyone about how Maryse called their relationship "a phase" (Alec whispered 'savage' in that moment so Jace remembered it, clear as a day). The wedding was tomorrow and Jace had just told Simon he's not coming because he can't leave the university. He was packing his bags to fly to New York at the same time. He might have been the worst boyfriend ever.

Luke was the happiest person when it came to the wedding. He loved Clary so much and he also fell in love with Isabelle, so he was telling literally all his customers about it. At this point, Clary was actually embarrassed. But, that was also a good thing. Isabelle and Clary were kind of nervous to tell anyone, in case they would disapprove. They were only twenty-two years old, after all. And if it wasn't for the fact that everyone knew how much the girls love each other, they would probably think it's too soon, but now even Jocelyn wasn't against this idea. 

Magnus and Alec were in charge of organizing the whole event, Simon was Clary's best man, Alec was Izzy's, Maia and Lydia had become the bridesmaids. Everything was perfect, because Alec refused to give his little sister anything but the best after Robert had announced that he won't attend the wedding because it should be illegal. Maryse actually came around and she was quite happy, she even offered to pay for the wedding. Jace was excited for Isabelle and Clary.

"Are you kidding me? She's pissed at me and not at Magnus who said he's coming to the wedding in a purple suit with glitter all over it? And she wants to be a star next to him in her plain wedding dress?" Jace snorted and Meliorn looked at him with raised eyebrows from his doorway.

Meliorn was a student at the same university as Jace and three years ago they were looking for a roommate. Jace accidentally saw their ad and since apparently he was the only one that didn't mind Meliorn smoking marijuana, he got a room in the small but cozy apartament. His room was now full of Simon's Polaroids of random things or them and their friends together. Jace was cheesy like that these days. He was just getting really sad from time to time because all his best friends and family were together in New York while he was stuck in London. He guessed that Meliorn was his friend now (the only friend because with the uni and an internship he had no time for anything, really) since they were going to the wedding with Jace, but he stilled missed the company of others. Even Maia.

Alec scoffed, offended. "I will have you know that Izzy's wedding dress is the most beautiful thing you'll ever see, you moron. Not like you could appreciate it with your bad taste. I mean, you're still dating Simon..."

"Suddenly I only have one brother, tell Max I love him," Jace interrupted, standing up to finish his packing. His flight was in two hours, he needed to hurry up if he wanted to pack everything. 

"I will remind you about it when you'll call me next time to bail you out. I'm letting you rot in jail." Jace knew that Alec actually likes Simon because apparently Jace's boyfriend had the gift and he could make literally everyone happy so it was quite hard not to like him, even for Alec. But the grump had to keep up his appearances. "Okay, I've gotta go. Magnus says there's something wrong with the flowers and I swear to God if they've sent us orchids again when I've told them  _repeatedly_ that the bride is allergic..."

"Alec, calm down. I'm sure everything will be perfect. I'll be there soon to help with what I can," Jace chuckled. 

Alec sighed on the other end of the line. "I just want them to have everything that's best. Isabelle deserves that. Clary too."

"And it will be the best, because they will be together. Stop thinking you'll fuck something up, that's not true. You're actually good at this whole planning thing, and with Magnus running around, throwing glitter everywhere, it can't be bad," Jace assured his brother, knowing how much he needed it. Alec was always scared of making things wrong, he was still blaming himself for the way their Dad treated Izzy and Clary, even though they all told him that it's not his fault. Jace wanted to make sure Alec knew how much they all appreciated everything he did. "It's going to be perfect, Alec. Don't sweat it."

"Thank you, Jace. Have a safe flight," Alec answered, clearly a bit more relaxed.

"Love you," Jace hummed happily. 

"Love you, too."

Jace ended the call and threw his phone on the bed. He wasn't really happy about the fact that he had lied to Simon and made him upset but he wanted this to be a surprise. He was tried of London and not seeing his boyfriend or family on a daily basis. Jace has always thought he's not ready for another Big Step in his relationship but this time he had spent away from Simon made him realize that he doesn't really want to be away. He was always so happy when he got to wake up next to Simon who was usually up before him, he loved to see Simon in the small kitchen, humming to the melody from the radio and flipping pancakes (and miserably failing). Jace wanted to live with Simon.

So he was going home.

* * *

Magnus was sure that Simon is going to mope around or that he even won't get out of bed. But, when he entered Simon and Raphael's apartament, his ears were filled with a loud pop music. Little Mix, if he wasn't mistaken. He followed the sound and ended up in the living room, where Simon was dancing on the couch in his Batman underwear with a hair brush used as a microphone.

"Shout out to my ex, you're really quite the man. You made my heart break and that made me who I am!" Simon yelled. He just had a quite loud argument with his boyfriend over the phone, he found out that after almost eighteen months of not seeing each other Jace can't make it to the wedding and instead of being upset, Simon was singing a song that basically was like a 'screw you' to all ex-boyfriends.

Magnus had decided, then and there, that Simon is his new role model.

"Hey, Shakira!" Magnus screamed loud enough for the other boy to hear him. Simon stopped jumping on the couch and looked down to see Magnus. He quickly turned off the tv. "I had no idea you broke up with Jace."

"I did no such thing. But right now he's dead to me so I can call him my ex," Simon answered stubbornly, dramatically falling down onto the couch.

Simon was giving zero fucks.

Well, okay, maybe he was giving a few fucks. Like, he missed Jace so much it actually hurt some days and he was so excited to see him during the wedding but now Jace is telling him he can't get even three days off to spend some time with him and his family? What kind of bullshit was that? Simon cancelled an important photo shoot just for Isabelle and Clary but Jace couldn't miss his classes? That was so unfair. Not because of the photo shoot, but because God knew when they will see each other again.

Magnus sighed and sat down next to Simon, looking around the room. It was really neat and modern, everyone who had met Simon knew that it was Raphael who decorated their place. Simon and Raph lived together for a little bit over two years and it consisted of Simon making one big mess, and Raphael running after him with cleaning products. They seemed to be content with that, though.

"I understand that you're mad, darling. But you don't want to, like, actually leave him, right?" Magnus asked thoughtfully, focusing his gaze on the dark haired boy.

Simon gasped, quickly shaking his head. "Oh, God, no. I love him. Why? Do you think he wants to leave me and that's why he's not coming?"

"Calm down, Sue. He wouldn't miss his sister's wedding just because he wants to leave you. Which he doesn't, trust me," Magnus smiled, running a hand through his messy black hair with the tips dyed purple, to match his wedding outfit. Simon relaxed again, closing his eyes and humming another Little Mix song. When did that phase start, Magnus had no idea. He usually was up to date with Simon's favorite artists at the moment, because they've spent quite a lot of time together and the kid was just  _always_ humming/singing/playing the guitar/drumming with his fingers. He just couldn't sit still. It was kind of endearing. "You know that school can be a pain in the ass, Jace is probably as miserable as you."

"I hope so," Simon snorted and turned to face Magnus. And just then he noticed that something was wrong. Magnus's shoulders were tensed, his eyebrows furrowed together, hair was a mess and he had no make up on. "What happened?" Simon asked, immediately turning on his best-friend-mode.

Magnus fidgeted a little, avoiding Simon's stare and he sighed, before finally answering. "I've had a little fight with Alexander, too. It seems like November is not the best time for couples. Well, maybe except for Isabelle and Clarissa, but something such as 'bad time' doesn't exist for these two," Magnus said, smiling slightly at the mention of his boyfriend's little sister and her fiancée. 

"Let me guess, it was about something wedding-related, right?" Simon raised an eyebrow, playing with a hair brush in his hands. Magnus sighed dramatically, looking around again, probably for something strong to drink. "Listen, Maggie, Alec is like... super stressed, okay? He's more nervous than Clary and Izzy combined, and I know you know it. He's just such a perfectionist and he's being a big asshole about it because he's afraid we will all fuck up, therefore he will fuck up. You gotta cut him some slack, the boy's just tired. I mean, he came here last night because he wanted to watch Star Trek with me. Star Trek, Magnus. With me. At one point Raphael wanted to call for an ambulance because he wasn't sure that Alec is in the right state of mind," Simon chuckled, wrapping an arm around Magnus. The older man rested his head on Simon's shoulder and closed his eyes, laughing quietly at his boyfriend. "By the end of the day you will be disgustingly in love again."

"Excuse you, there's nothing disgusting about our love, Sherman," Magnus snorted, hitting Simon's knee. "Do you know what's the only bad thing about this wedding?"

"The fact that Clary said she doesn't want you to design her dress and she let her mother do it?" Simon guessed.

"That, too. But, no bachelor party. We need to drink and we need to drink a lot. So, we're going out right now," Magnus decided, sitting straight and running a hand through his black hair. He snatched the hair brush out of Simon's hand and began to comb his hair. 

"Magnus, it's only one pm."

"Well, it's happy hour somewhere, my dear."

Before Simon could answer, the door opened loudly. "Simon, I'm home!" Raphael yelled from the hallway.

"I'm here, sweetheart!" Simon yelled back, jumping to his feet and trying to hide the fact that he had spent the whole day sulking on the couch while Raphael was working. He owned a hotel called Dumort (because Raphael thought he's funny; he wasn't) and the girls were having their reception there so Raphael had to be present during the organizing. 

"Are you drunk again, _idiota_? It's only one pm," Raphael answered suspiciously, making his way to the living room. 

"You guys are so boring," Magnus stated, draping himself over the boys' couch. Raphael came in and rolled his eyes at the sight of Magnus. Simon quickly hugged Raphael before the other could protest. It was their routine, Raphael would go to work and if Simon was home when he came back, he would hug Raphael and Raphael would pretend he doesn't like it. He actually needed some physical contact from time to time and Simon seemed to be the only person who knew how much exactly he needed, so it was okay.

"What is this? Broken hearts club? Don't you have your own place? Simon, why are you still in your pajamas?" Raphael asked, looking between his two friends.

"And since when have you become an investigator? I've made you lasagna, go eat and then we're going out for our own bachelor party," Simon announced with a big smile on his face. He honestly didn't think that he'll be able to stop moping if he'll remain sober. Besides, the girls will be out partying together before the wedding, so why couldn't they, right?

" _Por qué yo?_ " Raphael murmured, but he nodded because he knew that Magnus and Simon will go anyway, so it was better to just keep an eye on them. After all, that's what Raphael always did.

* * *

"What do you mean 'you don't know where they are'? Alec, what the hell?" Jace asked annoyed, looking at his brother. Alec shrugged his shoulders, still scrolling through his phone. Jace sighed and snatched the thing out of the other boy's hands, making him finally look up. "Where is Simon?"

"How should I know? I was trying to reach Magnus but he's not answering his phone," Alec answered dryly, trying to act as if he doesn't care. If Jace didn't know him, he might've even believed. 

"Have you tried to call Raphael?" Jace was already choosing a number. He was tired after his flight and all he wanted to do was go to sleep before the wedding but it was almost two in the morning and he still had no idea where his boyfriend is. "Hello, Raphael? Are you with... Yes, it's so nice to hear you too, thank you very much, you asshole. No, I'm not in London anymore. Are you... Okay, yes. But is Magnus there? Fine, we'll be there in twenty."

"Where are they?" Alec asked, already getting up and throwing on his leather jacket. 

"Pandemonium," Jace sighed, handing Alec's phone back to him. He was going to kill Simon. He deserved a few nice hours of sleep but no, four years and seven months ago he decided to ask Simon to be his boyfriend. And now look where it got him. 

They were at Pandemonium a little over twenty minutes later to see Raphael and Magnus in front of the club. Bane was clearly drunk and Raphael was trying to keep him steady so they both wouldn't fall down. When Magnus noticed Alec, he quickly let go of Raphael and clumsily reached his arms for his boyfriend. Alec cursed under his breath and caught Magnus, hugging him tightly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked, kissing Magnus's forehead. Jace smiled at them before turning to Raphael with question in his eyes.

"I lost him in the crowd. Try to call him again or just look for him in the bathrooms, I think he was about to throw up the last time I saw him," Raphael shrugged, smoothing his jacket. Jace rolled his eyes and pushed past the dark haired boy to enter the club. Thanks to his luck he didn't even have to look for Simon. His boyfriend was making his way up to the small stage to take the microphone.

"I lost my friends here, can I make an announcement?" he asked loudly, his words were slurred because of the amount of alcohol he had drank. He was swaying back and forth, trying to gain his balance by leaning on the mic. "Goodbye, you little shits!" Simon yelled and the crowd cheered. They were all so drunk, they had no idea what's happening. Jace couldn't stop himself from laughing and he couldn't even be mad at Simon anymore. After such a long time he was able to see him again. His dark hair looked almost black in the purple laser lights, his glasses were still sliding down his nose, he was wearing a shirt Jace had bought him; it said "MORE PAN THAN PETER AND TWICE AS MAGICAL" in pansexual pride colors. Now Magnus' and Raphael's shirts (Magnus's said "bilingual is not the only bi i am", while Raphael's said "ACE FROM SPACE") made sense. They probably decided to have a non-straight night, Simon's idea.

Jace quickly pushed his way through the crowd before Simon got a chance to disappear again. The dark haired boy swayed on the stairs from stage and tripped, to fall right into Jace's opened arms. Jace inhaled deeply, taking in Simon's scent. He smelled of tequila, chocolate and sweat. Holding Simon in his arms again after so long made Jace happier than he thought is possible. And the best part was that it didn't scare him anymore. He loved Simon so much and that was okay because Simon wasn't going to hurt him.

"Woah, sorry dude. I was just looking for my very important bros." Simon could barely speak at this point, it was all indistinct and Jace could hardly understand him but he was just so happy that he couldn't even be mad that not only did Simon behave pretty irresponsible but also apparently didn't recognize his own boyfriend. "Aye, you're hot," Simon pointed out, when he finally managed to stand on his own and take a look at Jace's face.

"You're not so bad yourself," Jace chuckled, trying to think of a way to get Simon out of there. Would he go with him willingly if he didn't even know who Jace was right now? "Listen, I saw your very important bros outside and they told me to come get you. You think you can go with me, buddy?" he asked loud, so Simon could hear him over the music.

The shorter boy narrowed his eyes at Jace. "Is your hair naturally blonde? It's so pretty, damn. But you know what? You would look really cute in like... soft pink? Or any other pastel colo—oh! Can we go and dye your hair now? I think my boyfriend wouldn't be mad if I would just... Do you think he would be mad? I mean he's totally dead to me at the moment but that doesn't mean I want to upset him, or—" Simon rambled excitedly and when he did, he also talked with his hands almost hitting Jace in the face. He knew Simon was mad at him and he didn't really mean this 'he's dead to me' but it was still nice to hear that after all Simon didn't want to hurt him. God knows Jace sometimes deserved it.

"Okay, okay! We can go and dye my hair, just... Just come on, I don't want to leave you here," Jace interrupted with a soft expression, taking Simon by his elbow and leading him to the exit. Fortunately they could squeeze in Alec's car just fine with Alec and Magnus in the front, while Raphael, Simon and Jace sat in the backseat. 

"Look, Rafa, I've met a pretty guy inside!" Simon sighed happily, resting his head on Jace's shoulder.

Raphael furrowed his eyebrows, looking Jace up and down as if he wanted to make sure it's actually him. "This is your boyfriend," he deadpanned after a minute.

Simon looked really confused for a second but then he shook his head, making a few curls fall down to his forehead. "No, no, no. I know you don't like Jace but I'm not going to look for another boyfriend," Simon stated, sitting straight. It seemed as if Magnus fell asleep in the front and Alec was just ignoring them all, keeping one of his hands on Magnus's knee.

"Just let it go, Raphael," Jace said when he saw that Raphael wanted to fight Simon over this. The Latino scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning around to look outside of the window. Then Simon beamed at them and started to sing "Let it go" really loudly just to get smacked upside the head by Raphael.

It was quiet for a few minutes. And then...

"Guys, do you think Lightning McQueen have life insurance or car insurance?"

"Simon, for fucks sake, I'm going to willingly cause a frontal impact with another car if you won't shut up!" Alec answered annoyed. Jace, who was slowly falling asleep on the back, jumped a little at his brother's loud voice and rolled his eyes. He missed Simon's rambling as much as he missed everything else about him so it didn't really bother him that much.

"Attaboy!" Simon yelled enthusiastically, clapping his hands. He was so wasted, Jace was actually impressed that he didn't throw up yet.

"No, _idiota_. Don't encourage this giant tree," Raphael murmured, pulling at Simon's sleeve. Jace laughed, wishing he would think sooner about recording them.

"I've heard that, Santiago. God, you're both so annoying." Alec slowed down a little to turn left and now they were in Brooklyn, close to the building in which they all lived.

Simon sighed. "You always see the worst in people."

"Yeah, because people are the worst," Lightwood scoffed, pulling over to the parking lot. "I'm taking care of Magnus. Jace, the rest is yours."

Magnus seemed to be awake now, he stretched like a cat and looked at his boyfriend. "I'm a grown ass man who can take care of himself perfectly fine, Alexander, my dear. Let me just..." he mumbled, opening the door and trying to get out.

Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. "Seat belts, Mags."

"Pfft, I knew that," Magnus remarked eloquently.

Jace looked at Alec and held back laughter. Alec's expression was saying "it's going to be a long night" and Jace had to agree.

* * *

"Simon, wake up, you lazy asshole. You don't get to throw up at me in the middle of the night and then sleep in."

Simon could feel someone shaking him but his eyelids were too heavy so he just gave up on trying to open them and swatted the hand that was gripping his arm away. Something wasn't right because he was almost sure that the voice belonged to Jace but that was impossible so maybe he was still dreaming? He couldn't really remember what had happened last night and he wasn't even fully conscious.

"First of all, rude," the voice scoffed and then the covers were ripped off of his body, making a cold shiver run through his skin. He immediately curled up, keeping his eyes closed and trying to ignore this annoyed person. Jace couldn't be here, Simon was still sleeping for sure. "I've made breakfast. Wake up and come be in love with me."

"I can be in love with you in my sleep," Simon mumbled into his pillow. But just then he realized what was wrong. He wasn't sleeping so he couldn't dream about Jace. He shot up so quickly his head felt dizzy for a moment and then he saw his boyfriend. Jace was here, in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Oh my God," he breathed and it took him approximately three seconds to throw himself at Jace who caught him with a surprised laugh. "You're here, I can't believe this, oh my God." Simon moved his hands, gripping Jace's arms and back and then tangling his hand in Jace's hair just to know that he's actually there and not in London. "You huge asshole, I hate you so much for this."

"What have I done?" Jace asked, faking offence. Simon pulled back to shout at him some more but then he stopped dead in his tracks, looking up at Jace's hair.

"It's pink," Simon stated slowly. Jace furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side and watching Simon. "Your hair. It's pink," he added, as if Jace hadn't seen himself in the mirror this morning. "Your hair is actually a soft pastel pink color."

Jace swallowed, "Do you like it? I mean, you better, since that was your idea and you made drunk Magnus do it at three am."

"Are you kidding me?! You look like a princess, oh my God, I love you so much. It's beautiful. You're beautiful, Jace. I can't believe you're here and you have pink hair and do you think Izzy and Clary will be mad if we'll get married today too?" Simon rambled, taking Jace's face in his hands and finally dragging his eyes away from Jace's soft hair. For a drunk person, Magnus did a pretty good job and even though you could still see some hues of blonde, Jace's hair was mostly pastel pink now and he looked absolutely gorgeous. Simon couldn't quite believe Jace agreed to do this but boy, was he happy.

Jace laughed, rolling his eyes. "It's the second time you're asking me to marry you and you still don't have a ring. Come on, I really made breakfast and we have to get ready for the wedding, you nerd," he said. Then he closed the distance between them and quickly kissed Simon but when he wanted to pull away, Simon held onto his black shirt and pulled him right back, to smash their mouths together again. Simon caressed Jace's cheek with his fingers, deepening the kiss and closing his eyes. Jace smiled, moving their lips together. It was worth waiting this long because now being together seemed to be even better.

But then there was a loud bang on the bedroom door, followed by Raphael's annoyed voice. "Move or we're gonna be late, idiots. You can continue your sappy love story later. The pancakes will be cold and I'm not heating them up just because you two need to suck each others faces."

"Be glad faces are the only body parts being sucked right now!" Jace yelled back, making Simon choke on his own spit.

"That was unnecessarily gross, Lightwood," Raphael scoffed, walking away.

Jace laughed loudly, turning back to his boyfriend. "He hates me."

"And you ain't making it any better," Simon answered, kicking the covers down and getting up. After all, they had a wedding to attend and even though being fashionably late could be a good thing, Alec would probably stake them both through their hearts. And yes, Simon was pretty sure the Lightwood boy would actually do that if they would even try to ruin the wedding.

Simon didn't even want to think what it will be like when it's Alec who's getting married. Poor Magnus.

* * *

Of course Simon had cried but he would deny it as many times as Raphael would ask about that.

It's just... there was something so beautiful about same sex marriages that made Simon melt inside every single time (even though he only attended like 4 of those weddings). This finally being legal in all states of U.S. showed that they were actually going somewhere, they were doing something right. Their community was making a change. Life for the LGBT+ people wasn't easy and probably never will be, but in that one moment, when two people regardless of their gender, stood together on the altar, swearing to be together for the rest of their life—in that one moment everything was perfect. Because thousands of people have died for this and damn it, gay people deserved to be happy, too.

So yes, Simon was crying his eyes out when Isabelle and Clary were walking together down the aisle with Luke and Alec on both their sides, giving them away to each other, and when the girls were telling their own vows. Magnus was crying, Luke was crying, Jocelyn was crying. Even Maryse was crying. Raphael was just an emotionless asshole, of that Simon was sure. 

The reception was being held at the Dumort, the theme was "Girl Power" (Simon helped Magnus with that one) and Simon had to admit that Alec and Magnus have outdone themselves. When people would hear about girl power, they'd imagine a pink wedding; stereotypes. But Magnus actually went with gold and white, making everything look almost like a fairy tale. Raphael was happy that Isabelle and Clary have picked his hotel because despite his grumpy attitude, he wanted to do something for them too. He had rented them the ballroom for free, so they only had to pay for the catering (Maryse had to pay, to be exact). One hour into the wedding and everything was going according to the plan.

Now was the time for the best men speeches. Alec was really nervous so Simon told him to go first and be done with it. 

"Can I have everyone's attention, please?" Alec asked, standing up from his seat next to Isabelle. Magnus looked up at his boyfriend with admiration written all over his face and he squeezed Alec's free hand lightly to comfort him. "When Izzy first asked me to be her best man, I was honestly surprised. I've always thought that she would pick Jace over me. Sorry, Jace." Alec held up his champagne in Jace's direction and everyone at the table laughed. "I know I wasn't really the best brother and I didn't really help when you were trying to figure out your sexuality, Izzy, because I was pretty much going through the same and I was just too busy with my own drama that I didn't even notice you needed me. For that I will forever be sorry."

Isabelle shook her head lightly, gripping Clary's hand tightly to hold back the tears shining in her dark eyes. Alec was looking down at her, he smiled softly before continuing.

"From the first moment that I saw you with Clary, I knew that she's  _it_ for you. I can't tell whether it's because I knew how I looked at someone who was and still is very important to me, or if it's just because you're my little sister and I like to think I just know you so well. But the way your eyes would lit up whenever Clary entered the room, or how happy you'd be in the morning when you knew you were gonna see her that day... Those things were so pure and you were so sure of your love that you gave me strength to be who I wanted to be, not who anyone else wanted me to be. I'm older by six minutes..."

"And God forbid you'll ever let me forget about that," Isabelle chimed in, making the crowd and her brother laugh again.

Alec rolled his eyes a little. " _But_ sometimes I feel like it's the other way around and it's me who needs you more than you need me. I can't even begin to express how proud I am of you right now and how happy I am that you have found someone who loves you the way Clary does. You both deserve that and I wish you the happy ever after you've always dreamed of, my little sister," he ended with a shaking voice and then he held up his drink once more to make a toast. Isabelle quickly stood up to hug the hell out of Alec and few minutes later the older Lightwood slumped down in his chair, breathing heavily and probably being glad that he made it out alive.

"Well, hey, dude, now my speech looks like it was written by a twelve year old," Simon whined, slowly getting up from his seat beside Clary. He looked around and sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "It's probably embarrassing to say that few years back I was hoping that I would be where Isabelle is now, marrying Clary," he started dramatically and he could just  _feel_ the way Raphael was rolling his eyes. Clary chuckled lightly, looking at her best friend. "But, to be honest, I was also a little bit in love with Isabelle so my gay radar wasn't on point back in the day. Apparently I just needed someone to dick me down and my point of view improved drastically, so—ouch, Lightwood!" Simon yelled with annoyance when Jace kicked him under the table. He looked down and saw Jace jerking his head in the direction of kids table.

"Yeah, right, sorry about that. Anyways. I owe Magnus a hundred bucks because I've always thought it's him and Alec who were going to get married first but I can't say that I'm sorry about loosing this bet because I've never seen anyone that would be happier than Izzy and Clary are today. And if I were still in love with Clary, I wouldn't even be able to feel sorry for myself. Isabelle is the most wonderful woman I've ever met, except for my Mom who totally wouldn't beat the crap out of me for saying anything else, and I'm glad to see that Clary had found her soulmate. Clary, you've made the best of choices and I know that you will be happy and safe with Isabelle. Izzy, Clary is one of the most precious people in my life and I'm telling you the biggest compliment you'll ever receive by saying that I know you deserve her love. Alec is right, you both deserve the happy ever after and that's exactly what I wish for you two. Now cheers!" Simon yelled happily, hugging Clary and Isabelle.

He guessed it wasn't as bad as he thought it will be.

* * *

"Jace! It's so nice to see you again, it's been so long!" Simon's Mom, Elaine, spotted them by the bar and decided to join her son and his boyfriend. Simon could feel Jace's body stiffen, he was still a little nervous around Elaine even though Simon has told him that this woman loves him probably more than she loves Simon. "Simon was moping the whole time, at one point I was considering buying him a puppy with golden fur to remind him of you," she laughed.

Simon gasped. "I wasn't mopi—wait, a golden puppy as a replacement for Jace? Oh my God, Jace go back to London, I need this puppy and I'm pretty sure my life depends on whether I get it or not."

"You asked me to marry you  _twice_ already and now you wanna replace me with a dog? First of all, rude." Jace snorted, looking at his shorter boyfriend and furrowing his eyebrows. Simon didn't even try to look sorry and Jace was sure that the boy wouldn't even blink while replacing him with a puppy.

"You asked him what?!" Elaine actually squealed at that, turning her head from Simon to Jace and back like she couldn't believe in what she had just heard.

"Yeah, he said no both times, so no grandchildren for you, lady," Simon sighed dramatically, squeezing Jace's hand lightly and smiling at his mother and her shocked expression. Jace elbowed Simon and rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say 'no'. I'm just waiting for the ring," he explained to Elaine.

"Well okay, gold digger. Am I your boyfriend or sugar daddy?" Simon asked, trying to keep his tone serious but when he saw Jace's face he couldn't help but laugh out loud. Elaine shook her head, turned back with resignation and walked away, seeing that her son must've had a little too much to drink so she won't get any relevant information out of him. 

Jace didn't even bother with answering, instead he pulled Simon with him and stopped when they were in the big hallway of the hotel where everything was quieter. "I want to talk to you about something," Jace started, looking down at Simon. The dark haired boy leaned against a wall, quirking an eyebrow.

"Good or bad something?" Simon asked suspiciously. "Are we gonna get that puppy?"

"Not about that and I think it's good something," Jace answered nervously, playing with Simon's fingers. He knew he wanted this but when Simon was looking at him with this bright smile as if everything in the world was just fine, Jace couldn't help but wonder if he even deserved to be with someone so good. Simon was just so... nice. He didn't even try, it came naturally to him while Jace needed to bite back sarcastic comments almost all the time. Sometimes it was hard to find a reason as to why Simon was still with him, but on the other hand the fact that he was made Jace think that there must be something in him. Because Simon was smart and he wouldn't be stuck in a relationship that made him unhappy. So that's why Jace built up the courage to say his next words. "Do you want to move in with me?" he blurted out, averting his gaze to the red carpet.

Simon was quiet for a moment and then he inhaled deeply. "You want me to go to London with you?"

"Yes. No, wait. No," Jace quickly shook his head, looking up again to see a pair of chocolate brown eyes looking back at him. "No. I want to live with you here, in New York," he clarified, running a hand through his pink hair. His heart was pounding in his chest while he waited for Simon to think about his answer.

"Okay... but what about your studies?" Simon asked cautiously. He didn't want to get his hopes up, not yet. He tried to be cool about it but the question was so unexpected. Simon thought that Jace will only be here for the wedding and then they'd have to be away from each other again so to hear that Jace might actually stay this time was as if Christmas came early. Almost too good to be true.

"I can finish it here, I don't care. I don't need Robert's help with my internship, I don't even _want_ his help. I miss my family, my home. I miss you," Jace admitted sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. Simon cooed sweetly, pulling Jace closer and wrapping his arms around the blonde boy's waist. "Shut up. Do you want to live with me or not, you asshole?"

Simon chuckled, shaking his head. "How can I say no when you're asking so nicely, Jace Wayland-Lightwood-whatever."

"Call me that one more time and I'll break your—wait, you _do_ want to live with me?" Jace asked surprised, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Why wouldn't I? We've been together for four years and now I finally get to actually be with you, in the same country, and I would say 'no'? Don't act so surprised, I'm your boyfriend, you egg," Simon scoffed, kissing the frown at Jace's temple. "Oh my God, this will be so much fun. I will make you breakfast to bed and I will come to the hospital to embarrass you in front of other interns, you'll be so done with me."

"I can already feel the horror," Jace chuckled. He felt so much lighter now that he knew Simon wanted the same thing.

The thought of sharing an actual home with someone who represents home for you was probably one of the best feelings in the world. Jace needed to build his own definition of this word. Home. When he was a kid home meant one shitty apartament after another, with an abusive father, bottles of alcohol scattered on the floors and a mattress instead of the bed. After being adopted by the Lightwoods things got better but he still never felt truly at home with Maryse and Robert. But right now he knew that home means being with the people you love and care about; the family you've chosen on your own. He had this and he had Simon, that's why he was sure that everything will be okay.

Simon cleared his throat, tearing Jace out of his thoughts. "So, about that puppy."

"Jesus Christ, fine. We'll think about it."

"This night is just getting better, holy shit."

* * *

Clary and Isabelle left a little after one am, right now was three in the morning and the guests were still partying in the ballroom. Simon, Jace, Magnus, Alec, Raphael, Meliorn and Maia were sitting in one of the hotel rooms. They were all drunk and tired. Magnus and Alec took the king sized bed, Jace was sitting with his back pressed to the bed, Simon was laying on the ground with his head on Jace's lap, Raphael and Maia were sitting on the other side of the bed, Meliorn was smoking a joint next to an opened window.

"I remember when my Dad called me and said 'I love you like you're my son'. And I was like... Dad, I don't want to scare you but I am your son," Alec said tiredly, resting his head on Magnus's shoulder. Simon chuckled, closing his eyes while Jace was playing with his hair. At this point they didn't even know what they're talking about, they were just really enjoying each others company. Tonight was a good night for all of them.

Maia yawned, taking a joint from Meliorn. "Imagine if someone handed you a box of all the items you have lost throughout your life."

"My childhood innocence! Thank you for finding that," Magnus laughed loudly.

"My will to live! I haven't seen this in years," added Raphael.

"I knew I lost that potential somewhere!" Simon joined in, trying his best not to laugh.

Jace snorted. "Mental stability, my old friend!"

"I meant like earrings or a pen, you assholes," sighed Maia, shaking her head and probably regretting going up here as the only girl in the group. Her girlfriend, Maureen, was already asleep in another room.

"But what if we don't actually loose things and it's just our alternative selves who need those things at the moment so they just disappear into an alternative universe?" Meliorn asked, looking at their new friends. Jace turned his head to Mel.

"Put that joint away, you're getting too deep," he told them with a soft smile on his lips. Meliorn flipped him off though and continued smoking.

Simon sighed quietly, thinking about in what place in life he was right now. He was happy, no doubt about that. But most importantly, he wasn't scared of being alone anymore. The nightmares were gone, the unsettling feeling in his stomach whenever someone closed the door behind them and left Simon alone was gone because he knew they will be back. He was twenty two years old and he was in a good place, not only physically but also mentally. He was working a job he loves, he had his own apartament, friends and a boyfriend, he was on good terms with his family. Who would want anything more?

"This is nice, isn't it?" he asked quietly, tugging at Jace's sleeve to catch his attention. The rest of his friends were busy talking about something else so Simon was sure they wouldn't pay attention to them. Jace looked down with a questioning expression. "This... being together. It's good, right?"

Jace looked around the room, stopping his stare for a moment at all of the people that were here with him. He thought about Isabelle and Clary who were now enjoying their first night being married. Then he turned back to Simon and smiled, nodding his head.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's really good, Simon."

* * *

Two weeks later Jace was living with Simon.

They had decided that Jace will just move in with him and Raphael because the apartament was big enough for the three of them. Simon didn't want to leave Raphael alone and the truth was that he also needed Raphael around, Jace understood that and he didn't mind. Raphael was actually happy for his best friend and he said that as long as Jace will keep his disgusting comments to himself he can stay (Raphael also said that if Jace won't do that, he will "shave Jace's eyebrows in his sleep" but Simon didn't feel the need to tell his boyfriend that).

When Simon opened his eyes in the morning, he saw that Jace was already awake and he was watching him. Jace's pink hair were ruffled from sleep, his golden eyes looked tired but when he saw that Simon was awake, he smiled softly, brushing Simon's cheek with his fingertips. Simon couldn't help but smile back, leaning into his boyfriend's touch. Waking up next to Jace was his favorite part of living together. Sunday was the only day when they could actually lay in bed and do nothing for as long as they wanted to, Raphael always went to church first thing in the morning so they were alone in the apartament. 

"Good morning, I love you" said Jace, shuffling closer under the sheets to kiss Simon's temple.

"Morning," Simon mumbled, wrapping an arm around Jace's waist to pull him closer. "And I love you more, blondie."

"Do you want me to kick you out of this bed?" Jace hugged Simon, resting his chin on top of the other boy's head. 

Simon sighed. He could hear Jace's steady heartbeat and he was ready to fall back to sleep. "This is my bed, shut up."

"Make me."

"That was so cheesy," Simon snorted but leaned back a little so he could face Jace again. He captured Jace's lips in a slow, lazy kiss. Jace tangled his hand in Simon's messy hair, bringing him closer and deepening the kiss. Simon couldn't help but smile into it and after few seconds they were both grinning like idiots, just pressing their lips together and not really doing anything else. "Marry me," Simon murmured, breathing into Jace's mouth. The blonde haired boy looked over Simon's face, holding him tightly.

"Okay," he said finally, resting their foreheads together. It was the third time Simon had asked him that and Jace wasn't going to push his luck and hope for the fourth time. Screw the ring.

"Okay?" Simon smiled brightly, looking at Jace as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life. He was so damn in love with that golden boy, he had no idea what he would do without Jace, as stupid as it sounds. Maybe Simon didn't have much experience, giving that Jace was his first and only boyfriend, but Simon knew that what they have is this  _it_ Alec talked about in his best man speech. 

"Okay." Jace nodded his head, closing his eyes again and sighing with satisfaction. 

"Maybe okay will be our..."

"Shut the hell up, Hazel Grace."

"I already regret that," scoffed Simon, turning his back to Jace.

"No take backs, Lewis!" Jace laughed, hugging his boyfriend, who was now actually his fiance, from behind. "Come be in love with me, my soon-to-be-husband."

"I can be in love with you on my side of the bed, get off of me, you giant crybaby." Simon struggled to push Jace away but in the end Jace won by turning Simon onto his back and pinning his hands above his head. Jace looked down at the love of his life and smiled triumphantly. "I hate you so much sometimes, I swear to God."

"No, you don't," Jace hummed happily, kissing Simon's forehead, nose and both of his cheeks.

Simon started to laugh at Jace's actions. "No, I don't."

And that was it. After twenty two years of looking they both finally found what most people can't find in a lifetime. Some may call it fate, some may call it Colton almost killing Simon with a ball and making him finally talk to Jace. You may not believe in soulmates, Jace didn't believe either, but sometimes you just meet someone and your heart goes "oh, it's you, I've been waiting for you my whole life". You can't help it, you just need to let yourself love and be loved. 

Simon and Jace loved and were loved. They were together. They were home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Por qué yo?_ \- Why me?


End file.
